5 Pieces Of Really Bad Relationship Advice That You Need To Stop Paying Attention To
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You know what’s the easiest thing to do in the world? It’s giving advice. It’s one thing to give advice on topics over which you claim some sort of mastery, for example, a teacher advising her students how to prepare for an exam. But in our society, almost everyone thinks that they have the right to give unsolicited advice on every aspect of your life. Not just the subject you should major in, but whom you should marry, how many kids you should have and even when you should be having those kids!
It’s a part and parcel of our “what-the-neighbour-is-doing” mentality. We, as a community, feel the need to give advice. You must remember how, in your childhood, everyone had something to say about your hair, your clothes, and even the way you should part hair. However, as you cross the threshold of childhood and step into the adult world, it’s your relationships that invite the same scrutiny.
Now, everyone you know is keenly interested in your relationships and has some advice to offer on how you should conduct yourself in them. And some of these relationship experts are responsible for passing on potentially disastrous relationship advice. As a social experiment, we asked around and compiled a list of such well-meaning but potentially disastrous pieces of advice. Curious to know what they are? Read on.
1. A Good Relationship Should Be Effortless
Most of us have received some or the other version of this piece of advice. It seems the very idea of putting in some work or effort is contrary to the idea of a successful relationship. But it shouldn’t be. Nothing just happens in the air. In a relationship, we all put in some amount of effort. We put effort into our appearance. We do thoughtful gestures for our partner.
We do it, not because someone asked us to, but because we feel happy about making the other person happy. And that might make all the hard work seem effortless, but all the great relationships require a lot of work.
2. Compromise Is What Makes A Marriage Great
Another common saying, this one gives the sense that for a marriage to work, both the parties need to give up something. It also makes it seem like that if you want to have a great marriage, a win-win is out of the question.
Rather than give in to this mode of thinking, one should look for alternative options that meet the requirements of both the parties, so that no one feels like they are giving up something.
3. If They Can’t Handle You At Your Worst, Then They Don’t Deserve You At Your Best
An Insta favorite, this quote gives a very skewed view of relationships. Most often, the ones who flaunt this statement like a personal catchphrase are those who seek drama wherever they go. And this advice never makes it clear if the “at best” is even worth putting in all that effort.
Like most catchphrases, this one too is all fluff and no substance. So think twice before heeding it.
4. Don’t Go To Bed Angry
We have heard this from our mother, our friends, and even the ever-ready-to-help neighborhood auntie. But let’s have a look at what we can infer from such a piece of advice, shall we? Does this mean that if one is angry past their bedtime, they should forsake sleep for that day?
All jokes aside, if you’re angry, it’s better to take a step back and let those feelings work out themselves. There is no point in engaging in a discussion when you’re likely to flare up. Instead, take the time you need to cool down before sitting with your partner for a discussion.
5. Kids Can Save A Failing Marriage
Kids or no kids, a marriage whose bedrock is faulty isn’t likely to make it, so it makes no sense in bringing kids into the equation. Instead of asking you to work on the relationship to get to the root of all issues, this piece of advice is putting the onus of resolving your conflicts on a tiny, helpless human. Someone who needs assistance themselves to perform the most basic of functions can’t certainly be the savior in your marriage.
Besides a failing marriage is not the most ideal circumstance for bringing a child into this world. Children are hard work. Even the most successful marriages buckle under the pressures of parenthood, so definitely chuck this bit out of your love help-book.
So these were the most common pieces of advice pertaining to relationships that we have all received at one point or the other in our lives. There are no questions that more or less all of it comes from a good place, but it can’t apply to every case. When it comes to your relationships, deep down, you do know best. So follow your heart and let it guide you. Do you know of any other pieces of bad relationship advice? Share them with us in the comments section.
