Given the rapid evolution in the dating space in recent years, the rules and the players have changed quite a bit and there are now many different kinds of relationships.
While we have now accepted that dating someone and not ending up with them is quite normal and understandable, being used by someone is never acceptable. Thankfully, due to changing social norms, we are now empowering those who are being treated badly in relationships, to walk away from and stand up for themselves in such relationships.
Often enough, it is hard to understand if we are being used due to the deceiving nature of our partners. We have put together a quick guide to some behaviors that could help you analyze your own relationship.
1. Never Around To Talk About Tomorrows
This is quite acceptable if you don’t want to walk down the aisle or are not in a hurry to consider long-term stability. However, if you do want stability of the legal kind, and he is never willing to have a conversation about it, it would appear that he is around for as long as he wants to be. Or, as long as you don’t start cementing your hopes of forever and always together.
2. You Don’t Know What His Mother Looks Like In Person
Goes right along with the previous point. After the initial period of getting to know one another and deciding to stay together, if he does not introduce you to his loved ones, he could be having a trick or two up his sleeve.
Consider his circumstances though, if he is not close to his family or does not share a good relationship with them, he probably does not want to spoil his relationship with you by exposing you to that dynamic.
It could also be dicey if he never wants to take you out to meet people or only takes you to where he doesn’t know people.
3. Financial Dependence
We live in an age of startups and executive studies, so it is quite normal that there is one partner very likely to be taking a year or two off to further their dreams. However, if your partner seems to be living off of you, you either need to address his plans to repay and pick up his share or consider leaving the relationship.
4. No Big ‘O’s For You
A man who loves you cares about pleasing you in and out of the bed. But if you feel that your sexual relationship is always about his pleasure, chances are that he’s in the relationship only till he finds someone else. He probably doesn’t even ask you how you are doing, or check up on you when it is not about sex. If the satisfact-o-meter in your relationship is only about him, consider it time to right swipe him out of your life
5. No Sharing Is No Caring
Think back to the boys who have liked you through the years. We bet you remember a random friend of his pouncing upon you one day to introduce himself and tease you about your effect on his friend. Contrary to popular opinion, men do love to talk! Gossip even! But they have their select circles for this, and if you find that your man is not opening up to you – while he shares information with others – then he is possibly not that into you.
If he is generally a man of few words, does he at least share some important details with you or open up to you emotionally? Watch out for signs that he is keeping things from you – like when he wants to take phone calls in another room every single time or does not want to tell you his location when you ask him.
6. You Can’t Answer 36 Questions About Him
Picture this: You are out drinking with your girlfriends, and the drinking game tonight is about your men. Do you think you will be able to answer questions they would ask about him? While this would be normal in the first months of your relationship, two people in love do like to share information about each other, and let each other in on their little quirks and eccentricities. You may not know everything, but surely you would know the basics, a.k.a. the drinking game questions?
Agreed, every man expresses himself differently. But kisses on the forehead, the occasional flower, and that special smile which is only reserved for you are practically a guarantee with every guy in our generation.
If it seems to you that he is not falling over himself to impress and please you – and we agree that you deserve a guy that does so! – then it is time to take stock of where you are heading and what you want out of this guy and a partner in general. Don’t let romance and affection become simply a fantasy for you.