Relationships are not easy to handle. They involve a lot of investment in terms of emotion and time. And, at the end of it all, when a relationship falls apart, it’s worse than heartbreak. For, you would have put in so much effort to make it all smooth for the other person. Even worse is when it happens due to the other person’s fault. There are people who are just not made for relationships, I mean, they simply don’t understand the value of having one. They take you for granted and send you on an emotional rollercoaster ride. I am here to tell you about such people, so you can wake up before it’s too late.
In his bestseller, The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho, one of my favorite authors, says, ‘Always look for the signs.’ Yes, it’s not just in daily life, but also in relationships. You will know what to expect and its lifespan when you start noticing the signs. In this article, my dearies, I shall tell you about the indicators of dating an emotional psycho. I know it’s too strong a word, but such people do exist. Just read through, and I am sure you can think of not just one but two! Shall we begin?
1. Making You The Scapegoat
There are a few people out there who are so egoistic that they think it’s below their dignity to accept their mistake. But, trust me, it’s not that they are doing it unconsciously. They are very much in their right senses when they easily put the blame on you for anything that goes wrong in your relationship. What they have to realize is that humans are bound to err, so accept it with humility and move on. If you have to put up with accusations always, it’s time to dump the person, period!
I once saw a status message put up on Facebook, where a girl asked, “How many lies are acceptable in a relationship?” It kind of startled me to even think that you can stay with such a person. For those used to lying, it becomes a habit. Dishonesty is a sign of a dying relationship. Imagine, if you have to lie to your lover, can it get any worse? Transparency and trust matter a lot to keep a relationship going. Trust is the basic foundation on which a relationship is built. So, if your partner is lying to you all the time, he’s giving you a peek into your future.
We have examples aplenty in our own Bollywood movies. Those who are not capable enough of making themselves worthy but do not spare any opportunity to make you feel guilty and worthless for their failures. Does it touch a chord? Hold that thought! These are plain lazy people who just don’t want to try and prove themselves. The easy way out is obviously to pass the buck. The farther you are from such people, the better it is for you. Haven’t you heard laziness and negative vibes are highly contagious and worse than an epidemic?
In a recent movie I watched, the guy would constantly put his girlfriend down. He feels superior for no reason and just wants to make sure that she is not above him in any way. He abuses and insults her in front of his friends and family. It’s like stripping a girl of her dignity in public. Not acceptable at all! Remember Kangna Ranaut’s Fashion, where her boyfriend asks her to drink from the finger bowl? If you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s time to bid the relationship adieu. Simply not worth it. Mutual respect is the key to a long-standing relationship.
5. Control Freak
Oh, there is no dearth of people in this category. In fact, they outnumber the good ones. I had a friend who asked her boyfriend to cut off all ties with his friends. His life would revolve her. He was like a puppy available at her beck and call. He stopped watching tennis, going out with his guy friends was forbidden (I mean it, literally), he couldn’t talk to his female cousins, and she would constantly check his cellphone and fight over messages from his friends. He was so mentally stressed that he was as good as non-existent. The worst part was when she broke off with him. He had none to fall back on and didn’t even have a shoulder to cry on as he had lost all his friends. Never let your partner take charge of your life. Allow ample space, so both of you have normal personal and social lives.
Relationships are all about give and take. Nobody is perfect. Compromises and adjustments have to be made from both sides. But, remember, never give up so much of yourself that you lose your identity and turn into someone else. Such relationships won’t survive for long. And the worst that can happen to you will be self-pity if the relationship fails. You will put all the blame on yourself and start feeling sorry thinking of all that you did to make the relationship work.
Do you have any pointers to share? Do post them in the comments box below.