7 Signs You’re Turning Into Your Partner’s Mother
Niharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... read full bio
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Many women take it upon themselves to take on the role of caretaker in their partners’ lives. This often happens subconsciously, and it’s not like we plan it in any way. Sometimes, this desire to nurture and uplift can end up becoming a major obstacle for healthy relationships. Before you know it, the partnership has started to resemble the relationship between a parent and their child. While you might be cringing just thinking about it, we’re here to tell you that this doesn’t have to be the case all the time. Here are seven red flags you need to look out for if you feel like you’re turning into your partner’s mother:
1. You Nag Them
It’s okay to sometimes be insistent, but when you nag someone, they will eventually start to resent spending time with you and not want to be around you. If you feel like you’re constantly directing your partner to do things and he isn’t listening to you, you might just be bagging him. One way to fix this is by putting yourself in the shoes of your partner and asking yourself if you would tolerate constant criticism and insistence from them. Instead of criticizing your partner, try motivating them and using appreciation and praise.
2. You End Up Cleaning Up After Them Often
Does your partner get back home from work and dump his things everywhere, knowing that you will tidy up after him? Do you end up cleaning after your partner more often than not? Well, you need to stop! You need to put a proper schedule into order and decide which days you’ll be cleaning up and which days your partner will be. Even if you are a homemaker, it’s essential that you divide the domestic chores and tasks between all members of your household.
3. You Interfere In Their Other Relationships
Sure, you may feel like some of your partner’s friends might be a bad influence, but is it really fair to ask him not to hang out with them? You might not like that he keeps in touch with friends who are negative, misogynistic, or worse, but those are choices that he needs to make for himself. You can probably offer advice now and then, but it is not your responsibility to fix these things.
4. You Focus Too Much On Their Career Aspirations
Remember that he is an adult man and doesn’t need you to write his cover letter, design his resume, and apply to jobs for him. One of the best ways to deal with this is to simply let him do his own thing. Of course, you can ask around and help him out with research or test his skills, but you don’t need to get so obsessed with his aspirations that you annoy people or forget to pay attention to your own!
5. You Handle All The Domestic Chores
If you feel like your partner just cannot handle simple tasks like grocery shopping and cooking, why are you even with them? It’s as simple as making a list of all the things you need and asking them to purchase it for you. It’s literally a dummy-proof task that can’t be screwed up. Rather than doing all the shopping yourself, why not make grocery shopping a family outing and get everyone involved? When it comes to cooking, you need to understand that it’s a straightforward process, and all you really need is the right ingredients and the right mindset! Whether you are a man or a woman, you need to know how to cook, and it’s vital that both you and your partner do the same.
6. You Keep Dressing Them
Your partner is not a personal makeover project. Are we in She’s All That? No, well, then stop trying to dress your partner up and pick their clothes for them! Sure, you might have seen your mother do it to your father, but that doesn’t mean that you should do the same, right? If you force him into wearing things that you like, he will never actually end up wearing them. If you notice that he has started to dress in a shabby or untidy manner, then it’s up to him to change.
7. You Are In Charge Of Their Schedule
It’s understandable to sometimes fret over your partner’s calendar. This is especially true if you live together and want to keep a similar schedule. However, if you’re constantly reminding him of things or trying to spoon-feed him into sticking to a plan, then it’s time you stopped doing so. Remember that you are not responsible for your partner’s actions and that if he forgot something, that’s entirely on him.
In the end, it’s essential to draw the line when it comes to the relationship you share with your partner. They are your equal, your confidant, and many more, but what they definitely are not, is your second child. Do let us know all of your thoughts on this in the comments below!
