9 Signs You Might Be Getting Gaslighted And How You Can Deal With It

Gaslighting is probably one of the worst forms of mental torture one can inflict on a loved one. If you’re someone who isn’t used the term, let’s look at what gaslighting exactly is and where the term actually originates from. Contrary to popular belief, gaslighting is not a new term and has actually been around since the 1930s. The term was featured in a play about a woman whose husband manipulates her into thinking she’s going insane. Just like in the play, when someone is gaslighting you, they try to dismiss your feelings of doubt as “trivial” and even “petty”. It’s when your partner manipulates you into believing that they’re right in a situation where you are very sure that you are not in the wrong. Here are a few signs that your partner might be gaslighting you:

1. Denial

Someone who is gaslighting you will always live in a constant state of denial. If you try and confront them about the topic, they will switch things up and put the blame on you instead. In order to avoid being confronted a gaslighter often goes back on words, they might have said and break promises. For a gaslighter, confrontation is the one thing they are looking to avoid.

2. Repetitive Behavioural Patterns

You will start to notice that your partner displays certain behaviors that you find irritating. Maybe they’re constantly nagging you about the way you dress or behave weird around people despite knowing that this makes you uncomfortable. If you’ve confronted them before and they know you get upset with their behavior but they still keep doing it, then it might be time for some serious action to be taken on your part.

3. Projecting Their Insecurities

Many manipulative people tend to push their own insecurities onto others rather than address them head-on. They might accuse you of behavior that they are known to be perfectly capable of or they might get mad at you unnecessarily. If they are constantly accusing you of things despite you telling them you are innocent, there might be some other things happening behind closed doors on their part.

4. Constant Negativity

Gaslighters often have this aura of negativity around them. They’re usually extremely unpleasant to be around due to their aggressive nature. When you’re in a relationship with someone you expect them to be your safety zone. You don’t expect them to be the ones who make you feel unsafe and like you’re walking on eggshells around them. There’s nothing more painful than celebrating achievement and having your partner put you down and making you feel like it is insignificant.

5. LYING

Lying is hands down the biggest red flag of a gaslighting relationship. If you constantly catch them lying about certain things it’s a good idea to bring it up. If they are a compulsive liar, it’s going to eventually take a major toll on your relationship. If you catch your partner constantly lying to you, it’s a good idea to split up while things are still relatively civil.

6. Causing You To Have Self-Doubt

“Did I really say that or are they making things up?”, if you find yourself constantly asking yourself that question, it might be a sign that you are being gaslighted by your partner. Do you find yourself constantly checking yourself in the mirror before leaving the house to meet your partner? Or maybe you hesitate while laughing as your partner thinks your laugh is “too much”? All of these are signs that your partner might be manipulating the way you behave.

7. Manipulation

Gaslighters are master manipulators. They make it a point to prey on you during your weakest moments and purposely try to make you feel worse about yourself. A gaslighter is not above using your own emotions or feelings towards them to manipulate the way you behave. You might find yourself trapped in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and negativity if they continue with their behavior.

8. They Can Turn Loved Ones Against You

Another way gaslighters can manipulate you is by slowly sliding into your inner circle and befriending all your loved ones. They can then use this and turn them against you by lying to them and making you look like the bad guy. They will use the fact that they’re close to your loved ones to manipulate and hurt you.

9. Dismissive Behavior

Gaslighters are expert narcissists. They know how to turn every situation into something about them. When you try to bring forth your problems, they will often dismiss them in favor of their own and try to make yours seem super insignificant. Their own feelings and emotions are given preference over yours.

While it is extremely difficult to walk away from a relationship, you should know that sometimes it is easier to walk away with the right kind of support. Make no mistake, this comes under emotional abuse so you should reach out to your loved ones. Let us know if this information was helpful for you. Share this article if you learned something new.

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Niharika NayakBA (Media & Communication)

 

Niharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing video games, and hanging out with stray animals. She has a bachelor's degree in media and communication from the Manipal Institute of Communication and aspires to...more