Why You Need To Stop Searching For A Relationship
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Love and companionship are two things that anchor our experiences as human beings, there’s no denying that. However, there’s something inherently wrong in making it the focal point of your existence. No matter what those romantic movies and “relationship goals” posts on the internet are telling you, your experiences and your life as a single person are also valid ways of existing on this planet.
For years, we have been made to look forward to completing the holy trinity in our life in order to be considered as someone who has made it. That trinity being – finding the “one”, earning money and be successful, and of course, getting a good education. While you could still work hard and earn money, and obviously put in efforts to get a quality education; finding the “one” is something that remains firmly out of the grasp of millions out there. Despite leading successful lives, these people are constantly made to feel like they are missing out on something in life or as if they are leading an incomplete life. But, we are here to tell you that you don’t need to orient your life around this quest to find a relationship. In fact, doing so can actually hold you back from leading a rich, full life.
Still unconvinced? Let us tell you why ‘looking’ for a relationship is a complete waste of your time.
1. It Takes Your Focus Away From The Important Things
Instead of diverting all your energies and attention towards finding the Mr. Right or Ms. Right, you could be making use of this time to progress in your personal and professional life. You could use this time to take risks on the professional front, something which will be difficult once you have someone in your life. Once that happens, your decisions won’t be yours alone to make.
By forcing this to happen (i.e a relationship), you are trying to introduce an unnatural change in your life. Instead of running after that illusory happiness that you are supposed to get from a relationship, strengthen the foundations of your existing relationships, i.e the one with your friends, with your siblings and your parents.
2. You Can End Up With The Wrong Person In A Bid To Feel More Fulfilled
When love happens on its own, chances are you just have found the “one” and even if they are not your ideal man or woman, you still accept them for who they are. On the other hand, when you are trying to make love happen, things are not as organic. You are trying to make a person fit your needs instead of accepting them as they are.
It’s quite possible that in a hurry to find the “right” person you might settle for the first person who comes along, who might not prove to be a wise choice in the long run. Why should you settle for anything but the best? It’s better to let things happen on their own.
3. You Can’t Force Someone To Love You
Just as you can’t predict the future, you also can’t make someone love you. It needs to happen on its own. It can be that you are seeing someone, with whom you are head over heels in love whereas they are looking for something a little more casual. Not everyone wants the same things in life. It can also be that they do love you, but they aren’t looking for a long time commitment as you are. In any and all of these cases, it would be futile to look for a relationship with such people.
4. You Can Come Across As A Needy Person
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. If you have a tunnel vision when it comes to relationships and love, chances are you are coming across as needy or desperate. Desperation to be in a relationship can easily be perceived in your actions and your behavior by your partner, or the one you are looking to woo. This can actually make them run for the hills. Even if that doesn’t happen, it’s quite possible that you come off as a person with low self-esteem and this does not bode well for the future of your relationship with them.
5. Relationships Work On Compromise
All relationships have an element of compromise in them. Be it the one we share with our siblings, our friends or even our parents. However, in all these relationships the benchmark for our expectations is considerably lower, which is not the case in a romantic relationship. If you are comfortable with the idea of compromising or putting your needs on the back foot sometimes, then and only then look for a relationship. If you feel now is the time when you want to focus on yourself, then you need to stop searching for a relationship.
Don’t lose heart, we are not saying this is never going to happen for you. What we are saying is that you need to stop running after this and go with the flow. Love happens when you least expect it to. And it’s that love which you want in your life, not the contrived version of it. Do you agree? Share your own opinions about love and relationships in the comments section below.
