9 Subtle Things You May Be Doing That Can Harm Your Love Life
niharika nayakBA (Media & Communication) Experience: 4 yearsNiharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... more
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Love is all about the little things— those sweet “good morning” messages, surprise gifts, goodnight kisses, and plenty of surprises. More than that, however, love is about actions. Sometimes, our actions might unintentionally hurt our partners. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you want your partner to feel extremely safe and comfortable in your presence. So you don’t want them to feel neglected even if it is not your intention to do so. Of course, every relationship has its own set of bumps and issues, but you generally make the decisions together and openly discuss any problems that may arise. So if you’re wondering what these nine subtle mistakes you might be making are, here are all the details:
1. Forgetting To Spend Time With Friends
How often have you been in a situation where your friend has started a new relationship and vanishes from the scene for a while? Well, if you’ve been in this situation, then you must know precisely how annoying it is to go through that. Sadly, this is a pretty common type of thing to happen. In fact, you’ve probably done it to your friends as well. Heck, you might be doing this at the moment right now, so here’s a reminder to yourself to give that friend a call! Remember that you want to have your friends around you for support in the event of your relationship going South.
2. Using The Words “Should”, “Never”, “Always”, And “But”
Although it is true that communication plays an essential role in all relationships, there are some words that are better left out of the conversation. Some of the words you should avoid using are should (“you should do this for me”), always (“you always do this!”), never (“never touch my things”), and but (“I know I’m wrong, but it’s your fault”). All of these words used in different contexts will make your partner get into defensive mode. Hence, it’s essential to find better ways to communicate with your partner.
3. Focusing On Your Partner’s Sacrifice While Thanking Them
If your partner got you flowers, how would you respond to the gesture? Many of us would say, “You shouldn’t have” or “You didn’t have to go through that trouble”, but is this the right way to communicate? Well, not really. It’s a better idea to thank your partner for something that they have gifted to you— express feelings of positivity rather than highlighting the focus on the cost of the action they’ve done. Maybe say something like, “Thank you for these beautiful flowers. They make me so happy!”
4. Showing Patterns Of Disrespect
Casually “forgetting” significant events, being late chronically, and plenty of other behaviors that don’t respect their time can cause your partner to feel terrible. Even if you are unintentionally doing all of this and don’t see being late as a major thing, you must value the time of others around you. Would you like it if a friend was consistently late to meet you or if they kept ditching plans last minute? No, right? Hence, give your partner the same level of respect you would like to see given back to you.
5. Not Communicating With Your Partner In Their Love Language
Have you ever got the feeling that you aren’t being “loved enough” even when you’re in a healthy relationship? Well, it might be because different people perceive love differently. There are five common love languages that most of us believe in, they are:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Acts of service
4. Physical touch
5. Receiving gifts
6. Telling Your Partner White Lies
If you find yourself being consistently dishonest with those around you, especially your partner, then you need some time to rethink your behavior. When you find yourself making up lies about your whereabouts or who you are spending time with to avoid meeting your partner, you need to seriously rethink your actions.
7. Not Kissing Each Other Good Night
Life in a modern era requires us to complete household duties, manage finances, pursue daily tasks, answer emails, and deal with family. Although we may have good intentions, a couple’s life might get swallowed by their routine. Sometimes, when we have been in a relationship for a long time, we tend to take things for granted and forget all the little things that make love so unique. So, don’t forget to appreciate each other by affectionate hugs and kisses.
8. Not Apologizing In The Right Manner
Let’s suppose that you messed up, and now you owe your partner an apology. Well, everyone has a different way of perceiving apologies. Expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuinely repenting, and requesting forgiveness are all of the various ways in which you can apologize to a partner that you have wronged.
9. Making Major Financial Decisions Without Consulting Them
When you and your partner are in it for the long haul, you need to understand each other better, and that understanding each other’s financial situations well too. Maybe you have a better paying job than your partner currently, and because of that, you feel like spending more and more significant sums of money. However, it is essential to include them in any major financial decisions, especially if you are living together.
