The 10 Cousins You Will Encounter At A Big Fat Indian Wedding
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Although most of us who live in cities live in nuclear family setups, we appreciate getting to spend some time with extended family members. Our cousins are often the first friends we will ever make and spend playdates with. One of the most common places you will encounter your cousins is at a grand occasion. Like one of their weddings! The best part about having a large extended family is that we will get to meet at least five to ten different types of cousins with their own unique personalities. Although some of these cousins are annoying, you constantly remind yourself that you only have to spend a little time with them before returning to your everyday life. If you’ve been stuck at home and craving to attend a big fat family gathering but cannot due to this pandemic, we understand why you may be missing your cousins. So here is a list of ten popular cousins you will encounter at the big fat Indian wedding:
1. The NRI One
This is the cousin who lives abroad and visits the country once or twice a year. Although you love them (hint: the gifts they bring), they can be super out of touch and downright ignorant. Despite living abroad for many years, they will feel the need to compare their privileged life to “life back at home.” They will always make faces when they see something that is uniquely Indian and expect people to make multiple changes to accommodate them.
2. The Scholar (AKA Sharma Ji Ka Beta)
This is the cousin who makes every other cousin hate them by being a child prodigy and genius. They’ve always been the class topper, and the only thing that seems to be on their mind (and their parents) is studying. Despite most of you and your other cousins finishing off your education and working, the scholar will keep pursuing more and more advanced education. You secretly think this cousin is only doing that because they are afraid of holding a full-time job. This cousin is usually pretty chill and sometimes looks a bit burnt out. However, their parents are another story and seem to be the biggest braggarts in town!
3. The Snitch
Although the snitch is not as innocent they seem, they will always follow you around and eavesdrop on your conversations. Whenever they hear something about your personal life, their ears will spike up higher, and they will go and report the information to the rest of the family. If you and your cousins are slowly sneaking away to grab a few drinks or explore, the snitch will go and tell your family about these plans. Due to this, you never want to include the snitch in your plans.
4. The Black Sheep
In every single Indian family, there is someone who is referred to as the black sheep. Even if the other cousins are absolute losers and don’t have much going on for themselves, they will target one and label them as the black sheep. This cousin usually avoids family functions and prefers their solitude. You’ll often be scared to approach and speak to them. If you talk to them, you will realize that they are actually pretty cool and just shy or introverted.
5. The Chillar Party
You cannot attend an Indian wedding without running into a bunch of annoying but super cute kids. They will always be itching to be the center of attention. Or they will be running around playing hide and seek and tripping adults over. While you have to admit that some of the kids are pretty nice and remind you of yourself, you will always claim that you were much better behaved as a child.
6. The Lazy One
There’s always that one cousin who is super lazy and refuses to move. Every cousin has a funny nickname for this cousin, from Snorlax to Kumbhakarna; the jokes are endless. Even when this cousin grows up and becomes more active, their nickname will stick onto them like a leech. Because this cousin is usually older than you, they will bully you around or soothe you with sweets to make you do their work for them.
7. The Joker Wannabe
This is the cousin who is a complete goofball and is known for lighting up a room when they enter it. Nobody is spared from the charms of the joker, as they can make even the most stone-cold aunties giggle! This cousin is the life of the party, and they know it. When they enter the wedding, you know it’s going to be a fun time!
8. The Show-Off
The show-off is usually related to the NRI and will not stop bragging about their possessions. They will constantly talk about how they received a discount at a designer store because they “know the owner”. They will brag about the latest car they bought and how they will let you take pictures in front of him (like you actually care). This kind of cousin will not miss any chance they get to brag.
9. The One Who Gets Things Done
This cousin is the super responsible one and will complete the work you give them on time without a word. You can trust them to fix any last-minute emergencies, and they will always be on their toes for any task that you throw their way. This often ends up in the cousin feeling tired because everyone uses them to finish off their work.
10. The Veteran
As this cousin has been married for the longest time, they will often behave like they know everything they know about being in love. This cousin will spend most of the wedding giving the couple gyaan on what to look out for after marriage. They will have the answer to any love question you pose to them.
If you can’t relate to any of the cousins on this list, maybe you are a combination of all of them (we’re just kidding). As much as you love and hate your cousins, there is one thing that you have to admit — you cannot live without them. We hope you get to see your cousins very soon once things get better. Let us know all of your thoughts in the comment section below!
