Here’s What A Couple’s Texting Style Reveals About Their Relationship
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Back in the day, communication in any relationship was defined by a series of face-to-face conversations that happened over a cup of piping hot coffee or a hearty meal. Nowadays, we all rely on some sort of social media messaging to stay in touch with our loved ones. Whether it’s the WhatsApp forwards on the family group or heartfelt messages exchanged between you and your partner, social media has, without a doubt, revolutionized communication in relationships.
Keeping in touch with your partner during the hustle and bustle of your day has now become easier than ever. Gone are the days when you would have to hover around the home landline waiting for them to call. In this day and age, social media plays a pivotal role in every relationship regardless if you are ‘just talking,’ or are in a committed relationship or even married. Many couples resort to social media messaging to sort out issues, convey true feelings, and discuss important matters in the relationship. However, what exactly is the impact of social media messaging in a relationship and how it shapes our relationships is something that we are not aware of. That’s what the researchers at Birmingham University attempted to study and we decided to share their findings with you (1). Intrigued about the results? Read on!
What Your Texts Say About Your Relationships
The researchers began their study by asking 276 young adults to fill in a questionnaire that quizzed them about the role of technology in their relationship. 38 percent of these respondents declared that they were in a committed relationship, 46 percent were engaged, and 16 percent were married. Out of these 82 percent claimed that they exchanged texts with their partner multiple times a day. These texts did not just revolve around asking general questions or sending sweet messages. In fact, a majority of these participants used texting to discuss consequential matters in a relationship.
Researchers found that texting in a relationship had an impact on both the genders. It was noted that in relationships where there was excessive texting, men experienced lower relationship satisfaction. Similarly, women who used social media messaging to sort out issues, convey feelings, and give or receive an apology also experienced lower relationship quality, thus proving that texting could seriously harm your relationship.
Quite obviously, using text messages to communicate often leads to miscommunication and misunderstandings between partners. This is because it gets hard to decipher tone and feelings in a text message. Rightly put by one of the researchers, Jonathan Sandberg, “Reaction to disappointment and reality testing occurs more quickly face to face. There is a narrowness with texting, and you don’t get to see the breadth of a person that you need to see.”
Is It All Bad? The Silver Lining Of Texting In Relationships
However, it’s not all bad news. Researchers found that texting has its advantages as well. Couples who used social media messaging to exchange heartfelt messages had more secure relationships. These messages helped strengthen the bond between partners, thereby improving relationship satisfaction and quality. The study also concluded that sending a thoughtful message gave greater relationship satisfaction as opposed to receiving one.
Communication over text, just like any other form of communication, has its advantages and its disadvantages. Its convenience has, without a doubt, improved communication by making it so much easier, but the chances of misinterpretation have only complicated the process. You can’t rely on social media to manage your relationship. And it seems wiser to stick to discussing important matters with your loved one face-to-face rather than relying on social media messaging or texting (or even pigeon post!)
The Other Side: Taking A Break From Social Media
Our disability to disconnect has begun taking a toll on more than just our love lives. A majority of young people feel that using social media messaging to stay in touch has begun to affect other relationships in their lives negatively. In fact, many young people have slowly started going on a ‘social media cleanse’ where they delete all social media apps from their phones for a fixed time frame. Most people who have taken up this challenge have said that it has had a positive effect on their lives, claiming that it allowed them to be more present and gave them peace of mind.
Taking a break from social media can have a positive effect on your relationship, as well. A digital detox can improve the quality of your relationship drastically. Spending time away from your phone can make the time you spend with your loved one more meaningful. Being fully present during date nights allows both you and your partner to cherish the moments and each other fully. Going back and doing love old school style could really help put a spark in your romance!
As with everything in life, technology too must be used in moderation. So if you prefer to see your partner online rather IRL, we suggest you turn up the romance by going on real dates instead of virtual ones. This is only going to make your relationship stronger.
What mode of communication do you prefer while engaging with your partner, online or offline? Share your views and thoughts with us in the comments section.
