5 Reasons — Why You And I Can Never Be The Perfect Daughter-In-Law?

by Shivani K

We’d like to get this straight — that there is more demand for sanskari bahu than there is for jobs these days. And, we’re not surprised either. Because, a typical bahu or daughter-in-law who is fair-skinned, medium height, medium weight, who has all her moral values intact is pretty hard to find, right? While most of us only talk about stereotypes of a typical saasu ma, let’s not forget the blueprint that everybody wants a daughter-in-law to follow. Women are subjected to undergo a lot of emotional changes in her life, especially if she is confined within the threads of a conservative society, which are found in abundance in countries like India. In other countries, when two people marry, they both move out of the parental home and move into their own place. But in India, only the girl is expected to move out of her home and shift into her beau’s place. She is expected to learn the house rules of her husband’s house and needs to obey them (no questions asked). So, basically, she needs to give up everything she stands for or believed in to get welcomed in her new home (husband’s home).


There can be many definitions of a perfect daughter-in-law, the one who wakes up before everybody else at home to make that morning cup of tea for everybody, the one who accompanies the MIL everywhere she goes, and so on. Yes, times have surely changed now, and we can see more educated women than before. But, when it comes to the topic of weddings, a majority of the crowd in the society still upholds the orthodox thinking, especially when it comes to daughter-in-law. Here, have a look as to what are the criteria of a perfect daughter-in-law/bahu.

Qualification #1

You Need To Give Your Right To Freedom Of Speech


They’ll love you if you have educational degrees. In fact, the more degrees you’ve earned, the merrier it gets — because you can obviously contribute to the house income, right? Your education should be such that you should be easily teaching even your grandkids the mathematical equations and explain to them about scientific facts.
However, if your in-laws say Monday is a bad day to eat eggs or Tuesday isn’t a good day to wash your hair, you cannot question their beliefs. You’re not allowed to have strong opinions about any damn thing in the world. Although one of the fundamental rights of our country is ‘freedom of speech’, to become a perfect bahu, you’ll have to give up on that.

Qualification #2

Kick Out Anything That Has To Do With Self-Love From Your List Of Priorities


It just doesn’t matter if you are dwelling in your period pains or had a really bad day at work. Once you’re home, you need to do your daily chores or whatever is expected of you. Caring for yourself, or having any form of emotional outburst in banned. No matter how worse you’re feeling be it physically or emotionally, your husband’s family needs to be taken care of as though everybody is babies.

Qualification #3

Nod Or Just Say “Yes” To Everyone And Everything (No Conditions Apply)


This is a crucial criterion to be the perfect daughter-in-law. Whether you approve or disapprove, always a “yes.” You simply cannot utter a “no”. This word is considered as good as a tabooed practice in the household. The default mode on which a perfect daughter-in-law operates is that of a “yes” mode, geddit? They say that saying a yes to everyone and everything does more of harm than good. But who cares, right? You gotta be a good daughter-in-law at the end of the day!

Qualification #4

Food! Forget You Cooking Styles And Be Flexible


Only after you’re wedded will you understand why the society says, “A woman is reborn after marriage.” And, food will teach you the logic behind this thinking of society, yes, food! You might’ve learned to prepare dal or even halwa your way while at your maternal home. But, you cannot do that at your in-law’s place. You’ll have to learn and adapt the cooking style of your mother-in-law and copy it in a ditto manner. There’s no question of presenting halwa with a twist or dal with a twist in it.

Qualification #5

Home Always Comes First And Your Work Can Wait


If your work cannot wait, then bid goodbye to the career! If you’re a woman who is ambitious when it comes to career and dreams of balancing work life and family life, then you definitely cannot be the perfect bahu. Do you want to work? That’s fine. But, you strictly cannot bring work home. Also, if any function crops up, be ready to apply for leave even if it was told to you at the neck moment.

So, who is a daughter-in-law? One who gives up her identity and weaves a new one around the likes and dislikes of her husband’s home? Can you ever be this perfect bahu fulfilling the above-mentioned criteria? We certainly don’t think we can.

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