Ever wondered why some women seem to get all the attention from the menfolk? Or why a blessed few among us attract men to themselves like bees to wildflowers, while the rest of us are relegated to being..wallflowers?
I can never write enough about the inordinate amount of time women spend trying to perfect their look—hair, makeup, killer bods—which is frankly great, but can only take you so far. After all, amidst a whole crowd of women bred on Cosmo and Vanity Fair, there really has to be something that sets you apart from the crowd and makes you grab attention.
Now, this is where I come in. For contained within me is the full knowledge of this infinitely mysterious world of man-woman relationships called ‘dating’ (with a teeny little help from the boys too, of course). And after reading our primer, men could’ve come from Mars, or Mauritius, it wouldn’t matter, coz you’re gonna catch ‘em all!
NOTE: The author claims to have used these techniques herself, with varying degrees of success.
Let’s start with a roadmap—Consider a scenario where you’re just trying to get the attention of the guy you like (Or guys. After all, the more, the merrier!). Plain enough? Now, the ten things given below are things most women unconsciously do but do these at the right moment, and you have a winner at hand!
10. When you smile at him out of nowhere.
No, this doesn’t mean you lurk behind walls, or potted plants, and jump out at him from nowhere. That is scary. That should not be done.
Instead, smile at him when he’s least expecting it. Do you see him regularly on your way to class? Do you, perhaps, encounter him at the snack counter over coffee breaks? Has he recently moved into your neighborhood?
A casual smile, but one that’s filled with warmth, will definitely get you his attention (and in case you haven’t progressed to speaking yet, a nod, a ‘hey there’ and a phone number in subsequent days). Keep at it!
P.S. If you’re feeling particularly confident on some day, throw in a quick wink (not the one-eyed I’m-such-a-bruh kind, but both eyes) with your smile. Like you’re lit from the inside, and watch him light up in return! (If he doesn’t, then my sincere apologies but this is when I suggest the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ to you. You get the drift.)
9. When you tuck a lock of hair behind your ear
Your mass of hair is your personal weapon of mass destruction.
It doesn’t matter whether you have straight or curly, long or short hair. It’s an open secret, men will always notice a woman that’s fiddling with her hair.
So, the next time a lock of your hair is falling all over your face, or you’re opening your hair from that crazy tight ponytail or bun, make sure you do it within his line of sight (discreetly of course, like you didn’t know he was there :))
8. When you laugh at his jokes
Men pride themselves on their sense of humor. So, when they make a woman laugh, they’re bound to feel special (also coz everyone knows that between the two, women definitely have the better sense of humor. I mean, sorry to burst your bubble you guys, but arm farts really aren’t that funny).
Which is why, laugh. That burst of amusement and the way even your eyes chime with laughter—these are all things that men have written about endlessly in their songs for eons now. Encourage all of that by laughing at his jokes, often, and with sincerity. Engage him in conversation, bring out your playful side and show him that you can be fun to hang out with too!
7. When you ask him if you look good today
I know. When it comes to fashion advice, men are the last people we want to turn to.
Which is why I’m not asking you to ask him what you should wear (that should ALWAYS be your prerogative), nor seek his advice between an A-line or a skater (chances are he won’t be able to tell anyway), but when you ask him small things like ‘if he thinks you look good today’, you’re conveying to him that you value his opinion and that it matters to you. Just that much is enough to make any guy feel special about himself.
Simple beings, aren’t they?
6. When you hang out with him sans makeup
Makeup is great, and all men love women who make an effort to get dressed for them. But if you’ve spent even an iota of time with members of the opposite sex, you’ll know that most men prefer seeing women in their natural settings, comfortable in their skin. Aside from the fact that they love that you feel comfortable enough around them to just be, they also get the sense of seeing the real you that not everyone gets to see.
With this in mind, the next time you want to unwind but don’t want to overdo it, just invite him over for a comfy movie on the couch, or a midnight date at the local pizzeria. Make it fun. Invent rules like ‘baggy shirts, pajamas and mussed up hair only’. And remember steps 10, 9 and 8, they’re the only ornamentation you’ll ever need!
5. When you ask him to help you out with something
No, I’m not asking you to abandon any feminist principles. As a woman myself, I’m a supporter too.
But call it their innate chivalry, or just the fact that they get to feel they can be of some use, men like it when you ask them for help. Be it a container that Just. Won’t. Open., or getting something off a high shelf (I’m convinced that whoever came up with the concept of high shelves and not those at arm level, was a man himself), men like feeling needed and coming to the rescue.
So, the next time you’re faced with one of those dratted containers again, step aside and allow him to get it. And while he’s at it, smile to yourself about who’s really helping whom.
Step 10 and 5 both accomplished, voila!
4. When you get possessive
Okay, this one’s always a little bit thrilling.
Just like you fancy the dashing young hero from all those historical romance novels who’s just the right degree of possessive, men find it hot when you claim your territory too. The world of dating is competitive, and eligible men are few and far in between, so it’s only natural that other women might be trying to get his attention. STOP THEM. RIGHT AWAY.
But do that with panache, of course. No guy wants a catty woman by his side. Catty is uncool.
P.S.- If he’s the kind that encourages the attention of other women, however, dump him like a hot potato. He isn’t worth it.
3. When you get excited about something
Whenever you have big news and can’t wait to tell him. Or when you’re so excited that your happiness can’t be contained and you’re jumping up and down like a maniac—all of these are very special moments for him too. The combination of your joy, the loss of your normal self-control, and the fact that you consider this one guy important enough to actually share it with him on a priority basis, is reason enough for him to share your excitement just as much!
Remember, just like women, men like being made to feel special too. It’s a human need.
2. When you try out his clothes
Oh, he might make a million faces about how you’re ‘ruining’ his clothes, but don’t be fooled, he secretly loves it. He loves the sense of ownership you have with him, that you’re comfortable enough with him to not bother with the rules.
So, continue raiding his wardrobe (just don’t ruin whatever you take) and ask him ‘if you look good in it’. Don’t be surprised then if he pretends not to be using a T-shirt and offers it to you either, we all know he wants to!
1. When you touch him without reason
Human bonds are about physical expressions too. Considering our development, being nursed by our mothers, and passed around from member to member of the family, touch is the one sense that most people instinctively respond to.
It comes as no surprise then that men love it when you unconsciously reach out and touch them in different ways—a fleeting touch to the arm or shoulder when talking, when you reach up to pick something off his hair, a warm hug—all expressions that speak volumes, and that men love. (Plus, if he’s into you, he’s bound to mirror these actions whether he realizes it or not. Watch out for the signs!)
And with this, we come to the end of our list. Try one, some or all of these, and let us know if they worked for you in the comments section below. We look forward to hearing from you.
Good luck, and godspeed!
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