Every relationship is for keeps, or so we think until we find ourselves in a mess. Although we very much want our relationships to work, it’s not hunky dory always. A few could have a bitter ending. The reasons could be silly too, but a few situations are inevitable, right? But let me tell you, relationships are not beyond our control. If handled maturely, we could save relationships from falling apart. There are women who tread so carefully that they tackle issues with ease. So, if you are wondering how they manage to do that, I will come to that now. Here are 15 things mature women will not do when they are in a relationship. Let’s check out what they are.
1. They do not let their life revolve around their boyfriend/partner.
When you are in a relationship, all you can think of is your love interest. Agreed that you have the urge to spend every minute with him. But never ever make him the center of your life. Always strike a balance between your love life and other relationships. I have seen girls losing long-cherished friendships because they couldn’t spare time for their friends. It’s important to understand that other relationships matter too. There are certain things you can only share with your BFFs.
2. They don’t hesitate to thank their partner.
Everything seems so rosy and nice at the beginning of a relationship. Each of you is trying to show your best side and want to project all your good qualities (first). Even the little gestures seem like a big effort, and you can’t stop gushing over them. But, as days progress, you tend to take things for granted. Those who want their relationship to sustain will go an extra mile to express their gratitude. Thanking or requesting each other is not a formality, it’s a way to show the other person that you really appreciate what he/she is doing.
3. They don’t sacrifice their financial independence.
Yes, we all want our man to display a certain degree of chivalry. It’s a must-have quality that we all look for. But then, you must realize that complete financial dependence on your guy isn’t a good sign. It helps to be independent. He will also respect you more if you share his burden once in a while.
4. They don’t dwell on their partner’s negative traits.
I remember, when I got my first boyfriend, a friend of mine gave me a golden piece of advice. Don’t ever point fingers at your guy for anything. Always look at his positive traits and accept him with his flaws. Would you like it if he pointed fingers at your negative traits? No, right? So, be a good girl, and love him with his imperfections.
5. They don’t lose sight of their goals.
Haven’t we heard of brilliant students failing miserably in their exams after falling in love? Yes, relationships can be mentally taxing. Along with endorphins (the feel good hormones), your body also releases an equal quantity of cortisol (the stress hormone). Naturally, you may be unable to focus on what you are doing. Being in love is not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean you have achieved everything in life. It’s only a part of your life. Every person has a dream and must pursue it without getting distracted. Make sure your relationship brings out the best in you.
6. They don’t depend on their guy for happiness.
Any self-help book on happiness will have two lines for sure — Happiness is a state of mind, and Look for happiness within and not outside. Your boyfriend should not be your only source of happiness. Find other ways to keep yourself happy. Yes, his small gestures might contribute to making your day, but that should not be the only factor deciding your happiness.
7. They don’t forfeit their self-respect.
Like I mentioned earlier in the article, we all put our best foot forward to ensure the relationship works. We so badly need the person we are in love with that we are willing to forego even our self-respect at times to make him happy. But, I feel it would be your biggest sin or a blunder that could kill your relationship in the long run. Have mutual respect and love the person for who he/she is. It’s easy to change oneself to please someone. But don’t forget that the moment you do that, you cease to exist (be yourself).
8. They don’t say ‘I Love You’ after every conversation.
‘I Love You’ is perhaps the most abused phrase in relationships. Couples use it like crazy. Use it sparingly for some special moments. Also, when you say the three magical words, mean it with all your heart.
9. They don’t cling to their boyfriend all the time.
Thanks to allthe instant messaging apps, you have to stay in touch with your partner no matter what. It all starts with a good morning message and then, a minute-by-minute update on what’s happening in your life. Phew! Expecting him to do the same is fatal for the relationship. He’s probably watching a baseball game with his friends, and you want to join him. He wants to catch up on a movie with his colleagues, and you fight about not taking you along. He wants to have a drink with his BFF, and you just wouldn’t let him be. Girl, lemme tell you a few words of wisdom, which are beyond gold (platinum, perhaps?). Space is critical in any relationship. Give each other space so you can do your own things.
10. They don’t depend on their partner to decide things.
There are teenage girls who wouldn’t agree with their parents’ choices of colors. But, as soon as they find a boyfriend, they want him to choose everything, right from their key chain and cell phone cover to the color of their dresses. Really? You have to choose between two job opportunities, and instead of taking a call yourself, you ask your partner for advice on which one to choose. It is you who has to make the decision because you know what’s best for you.
11. They don’t argue on public forums.
You may have the hottest boyfriend in town, and, yes, you want the world to know it. It all starts off with changing your relationship status on Facebook from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship with’. Then, you bombard your pages with cuddly pictures of you and your boyfriend, which soon leads to hidden messages to your guy in the form of a poster, quotes or movie songs. And when things don’t work out, argue and fight on a public platform, and be the laughing stock. No,I am not kidding here! Haven’t we seen our celebrities wash their dirty linen in public? Is it really required? Some things are best kept private.
12. They don’t give up their space.
Just because you found yourself a partner doesn’t mean you stop doing things that gave you happiness all these years. It could be books, music, catching up with a friend over coffee, movies and the like. Get some me time — so you can introspect and ensure your life’s on track.
13. They don’t grudge their partner’s achievements.
Your partner just landed a job in another city, and this happens to be his dream company. Instead of cribbing and ranting over how to survive the distance, be supportive. This could also strengthen your relationship in a way as he will appreciate you for standing by him when he needed you the most.
14. They don’t forgo their identity.
You loved rock bands until your boyfriend entered your life. You don’t look forward to attending concerts anymore as he’s not so much into music. But, what about your taste? Only a lucky few end up finding partners who share common interests. You don’t have to give up on things you love just because it’s not your guy’s cup of tea.
15. They don’t weigh their relationship.
Love is a beautiful feeling, and it has to be selfless. You do things to keep the other person happy. At the same time, do not measure the depth of your relationship with any parameters. Love has to be unconditional. Agreed, it’s a give and take, but from your side, it helps to be there without any expectations. Don’t take your relationship for granted because nothing lasts forever.
Have I missed out any pointers? Do you have your own list? Share them with us in the comments section below.