7 Things To Keep In Mind Before Starting A Fling

Let’s face it, not everyone is cut out for love. Some just like living in the moment, with no strings attached in the future. True love isn’t always the answer (neither is it available at the candy shop), and with the slim pickings we have, it definitely seems to be on its last leg. And that’s exactly why many of us choose to fling that door open, and keep our minds and bodies open to a no-strings-attached relationship. So, let’s address the elephant in the room: we are talking about the “f” word that’s often frowned upon — flings. Flings are all about finding the perfect partner to satiate your non-platonic desires sans the emotional baggage.

Not all flings are the same — some have a bit more substance, while some might just be like another one night stand. Whatever the case, these “relationships” are bound to leave your heart racing (you know what we mean). But, before you jump into a fling, there are some rules you need to pay heed to. So, if you’re someone who is testing the waters of a casual relationship, or you’re just curious to know how to keep that fling going, here’s what you need to know:

1. Choose Your Partner-In-Crime Wisely

Flings are not for every Tom, Dick, and Harry. You need to choose your partner wisely. Because, c’mon, you don’t want a clingy, weeping partner at the end of it. That just spoils everything. Neither do you want to get in the sheets with your exes because that just defies the point of being emotionally unattached, right? And, best friends are a no-no because you don’t want to risk your friendship (unless you guys want to end up like Chandler and Monica). Also, be wary of hitting the sack with a random stranger, you never know what they are like. Don’t worry; there are still a lot of options!

2. Fling The Feelings Out Of The Window

Although flings have an unsaid rule of being temporary, the effects tend to linger. The problem is with emotions. So, make the rules clear and do not engage in emotional, heart-to-heart conversations, or spend too much time with your partner. Stick to the rules, set the boundaries, and talk out the terms of the relationship to avoid any heartbreak.

3. Don’t Lead Them On

At any point of time in this no-strings-attached setup, if you feel like your partner is beginning to expect more than just casual intimacy, you need to give them a heads up. The rules are clear, mate, we‘re here for fun. And if you catch any feelings, you need to pick your stuff up and run.

4. Don’t Get Too Familiar With Their Family And Friends

You’re here for a short stint, right? So, keep yourself aloof from your fling buddy’s kin and kith. And keep your fling partner away from your friends and family too. This is just a passing fancy, and you don’t want to put yourselves in an awkward spot to answer questions from your loved ones. (But, if your family is completely open to the idea of no strings attached, then go ahead you lucky person!)

5. Prioritize Protection And Pleasure

Communicate the rules of the game and make pleasure the priority, because that’s what you came for, right? Netflix and chill, or just jump the guns and get to the real business, but make sure you’re not contracting any STDs. You don’t want to make memories that last for a lifetime, and certainly not the kind that comes from unprotected, non-platonic relationships. Keep a good balance between pleasure and safety.

6. Keep The Door Open

Fling partners are not your official partners unless you decide to take a step beyond the friends with benefits relationship. In that case, you cannot dictate their terms of life, and you need to ensure that both of you have the liberty to walk out of this setup if you feel like it. Don’t be controlled and don’t control your partner either. Discuss the important issues — are you guys going to keep the rendezvous clandestine? If one of you falls in love, is it okay to end things abruptly? What is the social code that you’re maintaining? Keep the transparency and ensure that neither of you is bogged down by an emotional connect. Brace yourself for one-sided feelings and know when to walk out of the door.

7. No Gifts Or Mementos

If you’re hoping to keep this fling short-lived and want to make sure that it doesn’t resurface in your future, you need to steer clear of gifts and mementos that will remind you of one another. Another thing that’s a red flag is cuddling— don’t ever get into that trap. It can lead to emotional attachments.

Well, seems like we’re moving on from those serious romantic relationships to casual relationships that don’t leave us emotionally exhausted. Gone are the days of courting and dating. So, go fling that door open and have fun!

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Author

Anjala Farahath