You are on a telecon with your bestie and tell her you were watching a romantic movie. The first question she asks you is “How’s the chemistry between the lead pair?” Sounds familiar? Well, that’s what is supposed to be the most critical aspect of a love affair. Or so I thought until I realized there’s more to a relationship than just chemistry. It’s not just enough to have an irresistible attraction to a person and be the best looking pair to make a relationship work. There’s more to the story than this. If you ask me what more is required than love to sustain a relationship, I have a list of 8 things. Here it comes…
1. Mutual Respect
Being madly in love with each other just isn’t enough to keep going. Haven’t we all heard before that love is all about respect? It’s not about admiring each other; respect entails letting the other person make his own choices. No, this is not about giving anyone a superior authority because both are equal. Respect the person for who she/he is; it helps a great deal. When couples respect each other, you can be sure they will go the distance in their relationship.
Communication is the key to conveying your message across to the other person. A lot of problems can be solved when you sit across the table and sort them out. Not just that, if you love somebody, not expressing it won’t help. How will the other person know? Always make it a point to communicate and tell the other person how you feel and what your expect. Be open and discuss whatever it is that you want to say or solve. Most couples run out of topics sooner than they realize, which is why you have to develop similar hobbies or interests, so that you have something to discuss. If not anything, ask her/him simple questions like…”How was your day?” or “Is your boss PMSing again?” This will definitely keep the relationship alive. The day you stop talking to your partner, your relationship is as good as dead.
3. In Jest
You can’t be serious all the time. Learn to laugh at yourself. They say laughter is the best medicine so why not use it to make light of the situation? Even the most bitter fights can be resolved with a silly joke. You never know! A guy’s heart can melt with a witty remark. Give it a try, people.
4. Similar Taste
Like poles repel and unlike poles attract. Yes, we have known this by heart since our school days. But let me tell you this – opposites that attract can’t stick together that way for too long. I mean, how long can you pretend to love pasta in an attempt to please him when you have hated cheese ever since you tasted it? So, girls, it helps to be transparent about things at the very beginning. Try to find out what are the things that both of you like in common. There may be situations where you love animals, and he can’t live without meat. Either you accept him as he is or if it troubles you to date such a guy, make it clear in the initial days itself. Conflicts over such issues are best avoided. Agree?
5. No Cheating
Love is all about trust, which, if broken, can threaten the very foundation of your relationship. It pays to be honest. Like Mark Twain said: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” So, loyalty is the best thing in a relationship. Be truthful even if it’s bitter at the beginning – you can be sure that your partner will certainly appreciate you for being honest.
Like I said earlier, no two people can have the same opinion about anything. Two minds can’t think alike. Each person is entitled to his opinion. So, there will be disagreements on minor to major issues. This is where you have to choose between what’s more important to you—winning the battle or making this relationship work.
7. Stand By Each Other
No matter what, stand by each other through thick and thin. Situations are testing times for couples, those who sail through it with a few adjustments and compromises emerge as winners. Be there when needed and support each other at all times. Nothing else matters.
8. Friends For Life
You can’t be life partners if you can’t be good friends. We all have our best friends who are not really similar to us in many ways. Yet, the relationship goes on for years because we give them that liberty and benefit of doubt. Same holds true for romantic relationships as well. Being rigid won’t get you anywhere. Accept each other’s mistakes, forgive when needed, and move on. The beauty of living with imperfections is something that can’t be explained.
Like they say, the road traveled is more beautiful than the destination itself. I mean, when you get a promotion at work, you don’t see just your success, but you talk about the journey. Likewise, a decade down the line when you have happily settled in your relationship, you look back to see how much you have endured to reach there and that gives you immense satisfaction than the end result. The bottom line is there’s more to love than just crackling chemistry!
So, guys, that was my gyan for today. Should you have any, feel free write back in the comments section below.