9 Things You Should Never Say To A Malayali Person
niharika nayakBA (Media & Communication) Experience: 4 yearsNiharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... more
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Every South Indian from all five states of the South and abroad can relate to the feeling of constantly being stereotyped and seen under one banner. Many of us still spend our days trying to convince our non-South Indian friends that we are not all from Madras. In the end, however, no community can take a joke at their expense than the Malayali community. In fact, they often crack jokes on their own community as well. And although we Malayalis are (mostly) a non-violent bunch of people, there are certain things non-Malayalis say that will definitely get our blood boiling. Here are nine things you should definitely not be saying around your Malayali best friend:
1. “Are You A Mallu?”
There is a huge difference between being a “Mallu” and a “Malayali.”.” It’s like calling a Kannadiga person from Karnataka a “Kannad”! We’re all for shortening titles, and in some cases, lengthening them (see Thiruvananthapuram), but this is taking things too far.
2. “Do You Speak Malayali?”
It’s Malayalam and not Malayalee! Do not speak of the language of our ancestors and their ancestors if you cannot even pronounce it correctly. You cannot be ignorant enough to think the language is Malayali and not Malayalam! Please get your facts about the state and the language right before attempting to converse with members of the community.
3. “Hi Comrade”
Oh, haha, we totally get it (heavy sarcasm). Comrade, because of communism, right? Well, we hope that you grow up someday and start telling better jokes, comrade.
4. “You Madrasis Are So Nice!”
How many times do you expect people to explain to you that South India is so much more than Chennai (formerly called Madras)? Even Tamilian people don’t like being called Madrasi, so what could your possible reasons be for using that outdated and offensive term? Since Madras doesn’t exist anymore, we guess you just love living in the past. Being called Malayali is still pardonable in some way. But calling a Malayali person Madrasi is definitely offensive to another level. In fact, just don’t use that term when you are around South Indians (or anybody else for that matter).
5. “Vanakkam”
Does this look like Chennai Express to you, dude? Before introducing yourself to another Malayali person and making a fool of yourself, you should know that this is a Tamil greeting, not Malayalam. Over by the Malabar coastline, we greet each other with namaskaram.
6. “You Must Have Relatives In Saudi!”
Okay, we get that there are a lot of Malayali folk in the Gulf, but that doesn’t mean that every one of us has relatives in the Gulf! What if I have Malayali cousins who settled down in Canada or New Zealand instead! And even if we do have cousins in the Gulf, you best believe that we will not be sharing the dried fruits and chocolates with you!
7. “Rajinikanth Is The Best Mallu Actor!”
Sure, although we love him, he isn’t a Malayalam actor, or South Indian for that matter. Rajinikanth is just a Maharashtrian guy who made a name for himself in Tamil cinema and is now commonly seen as South Indian rather than his true heritage. We can say one thing for sure, though; he is not a Keralite.
8. “Kathakali Scares Me!”
That’s the whole point. If you only see the scary painted faces and don’t understand the actual story or beauty behind the art, you will never truly appreciate Kathakali as an art form. For us, it’s a beautiful form of expression, and the intensity and talent that goes into it is unparalleled.
9. “Why Do You Guys Put Coconut In Everything?”
Well, why does a fish need water? Firstly, coconut tastes pretty damn impressive, so we absolutely have to put it in everything we make. Secondly, if coconut doesn’t go in everything, why is it so beneficial for your health to consume it? Just think about it. Our long dark hair can be credited to our love for coconut oil, while the deliciousness of our cuisine can also be credited to our love of coconuts. The only reason you’d want to hate on us for putting coconut in everything is if you are insecure about your own cooking skills (sorry, not sorry).
Now that you are aware of the common pet peeve comments that make the Malayali folk in your life mad, refrain from using them! If you avoid pissing off that Malayali in your life, you can be guaranteed a lifetime supply of puttus and erachi fry (we’re just kidding). Tell us about the most annoying comments people have made about your culture! Do let us know if you agree with this article in the comment section down below!
