“Gym? Who’s Jim?” 14 Things You’ll Get If You Hate Exercising!

Are you the kind that scrambles under the sheets and vows never to come out the moment the word ‘exercise’ is mentioned? Do you wonder how some people swear by the gym and wouldn’t give it up for the world? If that’s so, you are a certified exercise hater and we would like to welcome you to the gym-is-our-mortal-enemy club with the best of Netflix and a big bowl of chocolates and candies!

And also 14 super relatable gems that will make you squeal “ME TOO!” if you hate the crap out of exercising!

1. Taking The Stairs Is A Moment Of Glory For You

You might hate exercising, but the moment you’re forced to take the stairs because the escalator/elevator is out of order, you can’t help but gloat about all the exercising you just did! Even if you covered only one floor.

2. The Gym Is A Place To Stare For You

It’s a wondrous place of strange machines, which should be gawked at and admired instead of being used. And once you’re done staring at that, there’s just so much spandex-covered eye candy to peep at secretly! You don’t want to seem creepy so you carry your shades with you!

3. You Think Horizontal Running Is The Best Exercise

Your argument in favor of it? “Legs are still moving pretty much the same way! It’s totally legit!”

It. Really. Totally. Is.

4. Your Yoga Mat Is Not For Yoga Anymore

Now its purpose is to serve as a floor mat that you can spread in front of the TV and eat on (in case the couch is full). And when you’re not using it, your dog is merrily rolling around in it and using it as a sleeping bag!

5. You Go Into Hate-Mode Anytime Anyone Tries To Make You Fit

This one time when your friends finally managed to enroll you into a yoga class, you sent them angry, hate-filled texts for a week and refused to come out of bed till the academy kicked you out or rejected your application!

6. Sweatpants Are The New Stay-At-Home Pants

They’re just so comfy for that bloated feeling you get after munching on all those candy bars on a lazy Sunday afternoon!

7. Workout Playlists? Yes! Exercising? No!

Exercising might be your enemy but the background music it makes its grand appearance to is one you can’t get enough of. All hail workout playlists!

8. Weightlifting = Carrying Shopping Bags

Forget dumbbells! When you have so many huge and heavy shopping bags to juggle day in and day out, you don’t really need metal weights to work your arms out.

9. Only Food Can Make You Run

You’re at your favorite bakery and you see that only one piece of the chocolate butterscotch pastry you adore is left… only to see someone eying it, and not in a good way. That’s when your super running powers appear and you zoom up to the counter to get the last piece!

10. But That Running Comes At A Price

By the time you get to the counter (which is, FYI, only 10 feet away), you’re all out of breath, sweating like a pig, and in desperate need of a supersized oxygen cylinder! But that’s okay. At least you got the last piece!

11. You’re An Expert At Excusing Yourself Out Of A Workout

You could write a book titled “101 Reasons Not To Workout” and it would sell like hotcakes! Some of your classic favorite excuses for not working out include not having a matching tee for your track pants or being too sad to feel like exercising!

12. FB Post Of Friend At The Gym? Block Contact!

Here you are living a perfectly happy life in your Dalmatian-patterned jammies, eating a nice burger and pop comes the picture of your friend posting a gym selfie.

No can’t do. That kind of negativity needs to be blocked right away! Especially when you’re in your happy place.

13. You Share Fitness Photos For Laughs

If somebody was silly enough to add you to a fitness group, they had it coming. Now all you do is take screenshots of the group and share them with your other lazy pals to have a hearty laugh!

14. Sexercise Is The Only Exercise You Need

It’s the best damned workout on the planet! As long as you can have so much fun sweating and burning calories, why would you spend so many hours in the gym! And it’s also free, unlike a gym membership.

If you found this article relatable AF, be sure to share it with other like-minded souls just to spread the fun. Till then, keep calm and laze on!

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