9 Things Your Husband Really Doesn’t Like
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Don’t let the title mislead you. This article is not written with the intention of wagging an angry little finger at you and schooling you to become a better wife. But it is written with the intention of helping you strengthen your relationship with your spouse.
While much is written about what women want or desire in a relationship or what can be done in order to win them over (just a cursory search on the browser reveals tens of hundreds of search results), the other gender’s needs are often overshadowed by this. Therefore, we took the initiative to compile a list of small tips and insights which will give you a peek at the inner landscape of your man’s mind. Here are a few things that might be bugging him, but he would be hesitating in bringing them up for the fear of conflict.
1. Expecting Him To Be The Judge And Jury In Matters Concerning His Family
No one, no matter how contentious or functional their relationship is with their family, wants to hear criticism about them. Even more so, when they are expected to take an unbiased decision in matters relating to them.
If you have issues with his parents, or siblings that are ultimately inconsequential, then we would suggest you don’t bring them up, rather work them out on your own. And if it’s something major, then do it in a non-confrontational manner, asking for his help in resolving the matter instead of expecting him to choose sides.
2. Asking Or Expecting Him To Fill In For Your Girlfriends
The expectation that he would be interested in every little detail of your life, taking a keen interest in all facets of it just as your girlfriends do, is wrong. While he may want to talk to you or spend time with you, he would be more focussed on spending that time talking about the two of you. Your husband can be your true companion, but he won’t be one of your girlies, you shouldn’t expect him to be either.
3. Using Intimacy As A Control Measure In Arguments
The time you spent in between the sheets isn’t just a fun activity, but it allows you to connect with each other on a deeper level. It allows him to feel closer to you. Unfortunately, a lot of women resort to using it as a tool to control arguments or to get their way in fights. There is nothing more damaging to your relationship than this tactic.
4. Comparing Him To That Ideal Man In Your Family
We all have that one man in our social circle, or in our families whom we consider to be the ideal man. We put them up on a pedestal and use them as a benchmark against which we measure prospective suitors, dates, etc. In most cases, it’s our fathers or someone who has been a father figure for us. While it’s a natural instinct, it’s one that shouldn’t be practiced once you have entered the bond of matrimony. The constant comparisons can be pretty demeaning for your partner, which might not be apparent to you.
5. Always Hoping For Him To Be The Bigger Person
There’s no way you can avoid fights or arguments when you are inhabiting the same space, day in and day out. Never shut-off yourself after a fight. You might think the silent treatment works, but it actually shuts off your spouse and puts the onus of resolving the fight on him. And this can be pretty exhausting, if it keeps repeating.
6. The Expectation That He Should Be Aware Of Your Needs, Even When You Don’t Express Them Clearly
Men or for that matter, even women, are not diviners who can read other people’s minds. So, don’t have this unrealistic expectation. You might think that he would catch on the hints that you’ve been dropping, but it might not even occur to him that those are hints. Be upfront about your needs with your partner. It’s going to save you from a lot of trouble, trust us.
7. Micromanaging The Tasks You’ve Allotted Him
If you’ve asked him for help with something or if you have divided the chores, then leave him to figure out how to get it done. At most, you should offer helpful tips, that too, when he asks for them. Don’t hover around him to see if he is doing them the way you do them. Micromanaging is the worst!
8. Digging Up The Past
The term past includes everything — past boyfriends, past fights, everything. Do not bring up the past in your present by telling your husband how romantic or devoted your ex-boyfriend was, he is an ex for a reason. This also applies to fights. You might think that you’re scoring big by bringing them up, but in actuality, you are signaling to him that you didn’t really forgive him, and this can be a thorn in his side.
9. When You Have Trouble Trusting Him, Despite Getting All The Assurances
He trusts you enough to disclose the password of his mobile to you, that should be an assurance in itself. Petty jealousy might be adorable once or maybe twice, but if you are someone who pounces on his phone every chance you get, then that might be a big turn-off for him. Have faith in him and have faith in your relationship. If you do have any serious concerns, discuss them with him and find a way to move forward.
This seemingly small stuff can have a big impact on your relationship. So even if your spouse hasn’t been vocal about any of it, it would do you well to keep it in check. After all, all of us want our happily-ever-afters, don’t we?
Do you have any other additions for this list? Please share them with us in the comments section.
