5 Things Your Mother-In-Law Wishes You Knew

A lot has been said and written about the relationship between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law. The role of a mother-in-law is as hard as the role of her son’s wife – or perhaps harder! After all, she falls under the radar of speculation the moment she adds the suffix ‘in-law’ to her existing role.

A mother-in-law is demonized and projected as a negative character in most soap operas that are aired on prime time, and it is almost unacceptable to have a mother-in-law who complements her daughter-in-law rather than giving her a hard time by mocking her or making her slog like a bonded labourer. A daughter-in-law, on the other hand, may find it hard to accept this ‘other’ woman in her man’s life and she may feel being overshadowed many times. Nevertheless, it must not be ignored that her mother-in-law also is a human being with similar feelings and insecurities.

If you have been having a hard time trying to decipher your husband’s mother, read on to know her side of the story – her needs and expectations. I am sure at the end of it, you will be able to deal with this sensitive relationship better.

1. You Must Know That She Did Her Best

While it is easy to let those differences of opinions to reign supreme in your relationship, it takes a lot more effort to be wise, mature, and gain acceptance of the way your partner leads his life. You may be a healthy eater, while he might be a junk-eater. You may be a night-owl, while he may be an early morning person. You may not like the way he keeps his clothes and you might totally go mad with the way some of his daily habits are. Sometimes you even may end up wondering and (even worse) shouting, “Who the hell raised you!” Well, your habits also may be equally or more obnoxious to your partner so think before you speak, else you are in for some verbal backlash.

2. She Too Feels Jealous

Do you think you have the sole right to be jealous of the ‘other’ woman in your husband’s life? Imagine what the ‘other woman’ (aka. his mother) must be feeling with your arrival in his life. Just as you are overwhelmed by her presence, she too feels insecure in your presence. She raised her son with all her heart and now, suddenly, you took away her son’s heart and a large share of his time and space. Just as you feel jealous about the fact that your husband likes her cooking better or appreciates her dress sense and grace a lot, she too would be having a thousand reasons to feel jealous of you. But sadly, jealousy and competition never help in nurturing a relationship. It is always wiser to shed those apprehensions and let healthy communication nourish your relationship.

3. She Feels Disappointed

A mother is born the moment a woman learns that she is in the family way. Mothers raise their children to the best of their abilities and dream a lot about the kind of life they wish for their angels. It is very likely that a mother may look forward to her child’s life as an adult and may even wish for certain qualities in his spouse. It is also quite possible that you may not be the one that she dreamt to be beside her son at the altar, yet she gave away her most precious possession to you, didn’t she? It is very important for one to understand that just as your mother-in-law and her ways are not per your expectations, the reverse is also quite possible.

4. She Will Always Remain Your Husband’s Mother

Just the way you always want to be daddy’s little girl, your husband too is his momma’s little boy. Parenting is an endless process and most often we understand this when we become parents. It is very easy to expect your husband to totally detach himself from his parents and focus only on you, but do not forget that they raised him with as much love and affection as your parents raised you. Just the way your parents need your time, his parents too need his.

5. All She Needs Is Respect!

It needs a lot of strength and love to be up all night to take care of one’s child. It needs a lot of affection and care to make sure he or she is well-fed, well-dressed, and well-mannered. It takes great pride and a million dreams to feel the way your mother would feel as you walk proudly on your graduation day. Hence, know that being a mother is a lot more than just shedding sweat and blood. While you may not like your mother-in-law and she may not like you either, she deserves the respect for raising the man in your life and making him so lovable that you couldn’t help sharing a life with him.

A mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law’s relationship is a tough one to handle as there is a lot of insecurity and clashing of egos involved. But the right amount and correct tone of conversation can make almost anything work! Unless she is being too nasty and abusive, giving this relationship time, patience, and a lot of love is the only way to make it work. When you have signed up to love and respect the creation for the rest of your life, don’t forget to spare love and respect for his beautiful creator.

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