This Is Why I’m Letting You Go
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I can somehow breathe now. Even if it’s for a while. But there were times, countless times when I felt choked. It was because, back then, I didn’t know how to comprehend what was between us. I had to make peace with the circumstances that life had put us in, the way life made me see you again in a different light. But, now, I know how blind love can be.
They say to fall in love is one thing and to stay in love is another. And I definitely had my own share of struggles doing the latter one — staying in love with you. It’s amazing how the same person who made your life a happy place can be the reason for your miseries and heartbreak. It is often said if it’s true love, it will always find one way or another to live. And everyone has heard the famous saying when things don’t work out “If it was meant to be, it will be”. My experience has taught me that if one finds themselves heeding to these sayings, then there’s something that they need to let go off, else it could become toxic.
Unfortunately, you are that toxic part of my life. And I have to let you go. You’re always popping up, in places we’ve been together and also in places we’ve never been to. You’re there in all of my midnight dreams, my poems, and my writings. Your presence is evident in my unspoken words as well. But I’m still standing by my decision of letting you go. I’m letting you go because…
Yes, I’m Letting You Go Because I Shouldn’t Have To Keep Convincing You To Stay
I shouldn’t have to think of new ways to get you to listen to me. I shouldn’t have to make sure I’m friends with your friends so that at least they’d remind you of me when I’m not around. I shouldn’t have to opt for that rum instead of my favorite scotch, or I shouldn’t have to opt for that long drive with you instead of a cozy coffee date. I shouldn’t have to consciously make a choice in your favor so that you’d continue to love me and care for me. I changed my lifestyle for you, but you still don’t seem to notice it. Well, I shouldn’t have to convince you to let me do what I want, because if you’d really loved me, you’d care enough to understand that I am entitled to my own choices just like you are. I’m not going to lose myself just for you to stay.
I’m Letting You Go Because Whenever You Had A Choice You Never Chose Me
This was simple. I should have understood. I should have realized. I was fed up of trying to climb your priority ladder to reach the top. Because, every time I climbed one step upwards, you’d choose something that made me step down two steps. But, for how long could this go on? Every girl, every woman, dreams of having a man who’d value her and treat her like she is the world to him. But time and again, seeing your choices, I soon realized that I came last in your list of priorities. So how could I choose, when I was just an option for you. That’s why I’m letting you go! It’s about time, isn’t it?
Okay, I’m Letting You Go Because I Couldn’t Fight For Us Alone
We’d agreed before that we’ll have each other’s back no matter what. And that we would face the storm together. With time, I saw these agreements fade. I did my part of bonding with your family. But you were hell-bent on being crooked while bonding with mine. I’d told you how important my parents were to me. I know you never had a lovely relationship with your parents as I have with mine. But, I made peace with the disturbed world you belonged to. I took it upon myself to heal your wounds. I became a part of your family, but never tried to become a part of mine. I surely can see you have healed now, thanks to the changing dynamics with your parents but I also see myself getting wounded in the process. And when my father asks about my wounds, I have run out of explanations and answers now. So there you go, this is my last wound, and I’m setting myself free from you. There, I’m letting you go.
To make this decision of letting you go, I certainly took time, a lot of time. I braved all the storms to keep our love strong, to keep us strong. But, I’ve written this decision in stone now. This decision will require me to start my life from scratch. I will have to rebuild my world, rebuild myself. But I know it’s for the good, for the better!
Of course, I cannot erase the memories. They will always be a part of me. You will always be a part of them. They will remind me of who I was with you. But, those memories will also remind me of what I have become without you. So, I’m letting everything stay with me except for you. After all these years, I am freeing myself of the burden that I was carrying on my lonely shoulders. I am letting you go because I need to find a different meaning, a different purpose in life, it cannot be about you anymore. So there, for the last time now, I am letting you go.
