Psychologists Have Uncovered A Troubling Feature Of People Who Seem Nice All The Time

Your next-door neighbor tends to be over-the-top. She is always eager to please everyone, saying the right things, never rubbing off anyone the wrong way. Heck, she is even concerned about people she has never met!

We have all known a person or two like that. So, do you think these people are genuine or do they just have a complex need to be liked by everyone?

Latest studies suggest you need to adopt caution. According to a report published in 2014 in Journal of Personality, “agreeable and conscientious personalities can do horrible things if they are ordered to do so. In a bid to please others and protect their popularity, these people can even undertake destructive orders“. The report illustrates that the desire to be popular can prompt such personalities to cause unknowing harm to others. Such people can adopt pseudo-intimacy and become conscious about maintaining their persona in public space.

Some psychologists have even begun to associate unsolicited, almost inappropriate niceness to narcissism. Psychologists say these people have an inflated opinion of themselves and need constant reinforcement to validate their existence. For them, niceness is an external garb, not an inherent character trait.

While kindness, sympathy, tenderness, and modesty are qualities we all aspire for, it is a whole different matter if you are forever agreeable.

So, where does the middle ground lie?

Behavior experts suggest not to go overboard in your efforts. Keep it simple, smile often, maintain integrity, be a good listener, and be appropriately selfless. Be nice but don’t get pushed around. What is needed is goodness in the right circumstances, for the right reasons, and in the right degree.

Kindness may be a virtue, but you also need to stand up for yourself. Stick to your moral guns and only do what you feel is right!

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