11 Unrealistic Expectations In A Relationship

Written by Niharika Nayak, BA (Media & Communication)  • 

Relationships – you either love them or hate them. Getting into a relationship with someone you care deeply about might make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Fairy tales have always told us about damsels in distress and knights in shining armor, but they’re all just a fantasy.

Some people expect way too much from their relationships than they do from other aspects of their life. Here is a list of common unrealistic expectations people have while in relationships: 

1. I Should Be Their First Priority

Image: Shutterstock

Always expecting your partner to put you first is too much to ask for. A lot of people get into relationships expecting to be prioritized over everything else. Because we live in a world that demands a lot from us, it’s a very high expectation to keep. When we have jobs, making time for ourselves, and investing time in our relatives and friends, it’s challenging to make time for another person’s needs constantly. You need to realize that just as you have things to do, so does your partner.

2. No Fighting At All

Image: Shutterstock

Never fighting with your partner is also a very unrealistic expectation. Some amount of conflict between partners is entirely normal and healthy. You might have different political beliefs or opinions or even dissimilar tastes in music, and it’s okay to disagree on specific topics. Having disagreements will provide you with the opportunity to discuss things, which would be healthy for your relationships in the long run. However drawing the line is necessary even here. If you and your partner are always at loggerheads or the fights start getting physical, you need to walk away.

3. Expecting Your Partner To Understand Your Feelings Without Telling Them

Image: Shutterstock

You can’t expect your partner to read your mind like Professor X from X-Men. If you don’t express how you truly feel, it isn’t right to expect them to fix things. They would have no idea about what’s bothering you and just assume that you are being moody. If communication channels between two partners aren’t solid, your relationship will only go so far. It’s also important to bring up any issues you might encounter with your partner immediately rather than let it simmer for days. This will only impact you mentally. Using childish mind games like the silent treatment won’t get you anywhere and will only make your partner distance themselves more.

4. We Have To See Each Other Every Single Day

Image: Shutterstock

You don’t have to be together 24/7. Investing in your friendships with other people and making time for yourself is an utmost priority. Constantly spending time together and not spending any time apart will lead to both of you getting tired or bored with each other. It might not happen immediately, but it will eventually occur. Plus, if your relationship doesn’t work out, at least having a robust set of friends by your side will help you recover quicker.

5. Always Keep Me Entertained And Happy

Image: Shutterstock

Your partner has a life of their own and doesn’t constantly have to be available to make your life better or cater to your whims. As the saying goes, happiness comes from within. It’s also unfair to expect your partner to make you happy consistently. They might be going through a rough patch themselves or might simply not be available when you need them. You need to find your own source of entertainment and happiness.

6. All My Loved Ones Should Like My Partner

Image: Shutterstock

Another unrealistic expectation is that every person in your close friend circle should also really like the person you’re dating. It’s difficult to predict whether someone close to you would love your partner, and it’s not fair to expect them to. They may care deeply for you but not feel the same way about your partner, and that’s their choice. You will need to learn how to handle things without making your partner feel like he’s being alienated.

7. Physical Intimacy Should Always Be A Priority

Image: Shutterstock

Expecting your partner to always be in the mood when you are isn’t fair either. Neither is pushing them to be intimate with you. There are days when your partner might just be swamped with work or may simply not be in the mood, and you shouldn’t expect them to bow down to your whims. Remember, consent is attractive.

8. If I’m In A Non-Toxic Relationship, I’ll Always Be Happy

Image: Shutterstock

Not every toxic relationship starts out as toxic. You might get on like a house on fire initially, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore the red flags or toxic behavior. It might be something as small as your partner getting passive-aggressive when you ask them to clean up. Expecting things to remain at the same level throughout your relationship is not ideal. Instead, if any issues arise, you should help them understand how their behavior affects you.

9. My Way Or The Highway

Image: Shutterstock

Let’s face reality. You’re not always right. It’s okay to be a little beat up over someone pointing out a mistake or mentioning ways to handle things differently, but not all the time. Expecting your partner to bow down to every single whim and fancy of yours just because you think it’s right is immature. It’s alright to let them control the leash for once and do things their way. However, if you’re incredibly uncomfortable with anything they want, you should mention it beforehand.

10. We Have To Think Alike

Image: Shutterstock

This is a very common error people make in their relationships. If you dislike a person, you shouldn’t expect your partner to feel the same way about the person. In the same light, if your partner doesn’t like a person, they shouldn’t expect you to dislike them either. You can form your own opinion on different matters. A beehive mentality will only lead to you and your partner having disagreements about matters in the future.

11.Expecting Your Relationship To Be Like A Fairytale

Image: Shutterstock

Disney already called the shots on fairytales and expecting your relationship to end up being like one is exceptionally problematic. They are called ‘tales’ for a reason. Your relationship is not going to be saved by a fairy Godmother or a magical wand. Your partner is not a knight in shining armor who’ll scoop you up and rescue you from all that upsets you. It’s okay to have certain expectations, but only from yourself.

In the end, relationships and love are two-way streets. You can’t expect your partner to fit every need and requirement of yours or expect them to be perfect. After all, they’re only human.

Was this article helpful?
thumbsupthumbsdown
The following two tabs change content below.

Latest Articles