8 Ways To Earn The Trust Of The One You Love When Everything Seems Hopeless
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In every relationship, there comes a point when either your trust is broken or you’ve lost the faith of your loved one. This can be due to an incident where you didn’t come through, didn’t do something you were supposed to, or proved that you weren’t exactly loyal. Whatever the reason may be, studies have shown that 70% of couples decide to stay together after they undergo therapy (1), (2). Which means all hope is not lost, even if your love life hits a serious low.
So, if you’ve hit a point in your relationship where everything seems hopeless, try out these 8 ways to get the trust back in your love life.
1. Don’t Attempt To Reduce The Hurt Caused
Pain is an obvious consequence of broken trust. However, trying to reduce that pain by covering up or hiding the details of your betrayal can do a lot of harm. At this point, your partner deserves to know what exactly happened and how. That means you’ll have to answer every question asked truthfully, instead of avoiding the conversation and allowing your partner to find out details from elsewhere. Let your partner feel the pain that comes with your honesty. It helps in the healing process.
2. Reveal Everything
Trust strengthens a relationship; but on its own, it’s a fragile thing. If your partner catches you telling a lie once, it is your duty to let your partner know the entire truth rather than tell another lie to weasel your way out. Experts believe that trust can only be established in a relationship when it’s absolutely transparent. This includes sharing small details that you might consider unimportant enough to overlook. If you’re hanging out at the bar with your friends, let your partner know instead of saying that you’re at a café.
3. Don’t Insinuate
When you make a mistake, the right thing to do is to own up to it. The wrong thing to do is to insinuate that your mistake is your partner’s fault. Remember, you’re trying to reestablish trust here. You can’t just attack your partner if they scream or react in a negative manner to your wrongdoings. Justification of faults is not needed when you have to focus on salvaging your relationship. So, try to handle your partner’s anger calmly.
4. Don’t Assume You’re The Accused And Your Partner’s The Prosecutor
If you think admitting to your fault is the hardest part, wait till you see what comes next. Your partner might assume the role of the prosecutor and accuse you of every small thing. But it’ll be your duty to make sure these roles are not adopted as they don’t help build trust. So, whenever your partner tries to act like the prosecutor, keep calm and do your duties.
5. Don’t Drag Other People Into Your Personal Issues
An act of betrayal and its consequences are your business alone as a couple. If the two of you decide to work it out and stay together, both of you will have to act responsibly and not involve your friends and family in the matter. Whatever discussions you’ve had about the whole incident should stay between the two of you only. If you want to involve someone, ask your family counselor for help.
6. Allow Your Partner Into ‘Restricted’ Areas Of Your Life
Everyone has their own personal space where they don’t like involving anyone. Like your cell phone, for example. You certainly don’t share that with anyone, do you? However, in such delicate circumstances, you might just have to allow your partner a peek into your calls, texts, and social media in order to regain the trust that has been lost. If you’re going down the path of honesty, don’t try to hide things from your partner. As time passes by, you’ll get their trust and they won’t feel the need to check up on you all the time.
7. Show You Care
Actions speak louder than words. To show you’re sincerely sorry and want to start over, make symbolic gestures that reveal your commitment, say experts. Such gestures could be anything that makes your partner happy, such as a movie date night, etc. Use this time to create new, positive memories that bring the two of you closer again.
8. Don’t Think You’ll Be Forgiven Immediately
Recovery from a big blow like betrayal is a long process. Your partner may take some time to process the whole thing and decide you’re worthy of the chance given. So, have some patience. Pay attention to your partner’s needs and feelings and help them cope with the pain by catering to everything they need. This might seem very difficult in the beginning, but once you work past those issues, you’ll come out stronger.
Slip-ups happen even in strong relationships. However, if you’re truly remorseful and committed to turning over a new leaf, you can save your relationship and make it stronger than it was before.
