Once you get into a relationship, you sign in for a verbal contract with its specific norms and rules. From being partially honest to getting passive-aggressive, you get the hang of it after the few first fights! When your partner says, “can we talk” or “I need to talk about something”, you will have a film playing in your head of every wrong thing you have ever done! Being a couple is never easy, especially when you have to master the art of communication! The experts who wrote-‘communication is the key to a successful relationship’ forgot to write how to do it without ending up fighting! But fret not; here are some easy ways to speak up for yourself in a relationship without triggering the defenses in your partner. Read on to know them all.
1. Embrace Healthy Communication
If you feel, every time you see your partner, your heart will be filled with pink butterflies, you are wrong. Relationships are continuously thrown out of balance, and they need adjustments and attention for quick fixes. You need to accept your partner’s attitude as normal behavior for bursting out. You don’t have to talk to your partner only when you sense something is out of place. Communication can be effective only when done regularly.
2. Be Romantic Everyday
How many times have you heard a middle-aged man say “I love you” to his wife and his wife reciprocates it by “what do you want?” Well, it is familiar, and this is because the expression of love is so rare that they immediately think of it as a give and take statement. You don’t have to wait till Valentine’s Day or a special occasion to express your love. Doing it regularly will add more meaning to your words.
3. Talk At The Right Time
We are not going to judge who is right and wrong, but most of us hold conversations with us till we are on the verge of a breakdown. Always clear any issue you have in mind at the first instance itself. If you saw your partner with a girl and it bothered you, do not hold it till 10:30 at night when he is too sleepy to talk about anything.
4. Stick To One Issue
Just because you have finally gotten him to sit and talk, do not try and drown him in every wrong thing he has ever done. Keep the mother-in-law and socks problem out of the conversation if you want to discuss the snoring problem. If your partner is overloaded, he may forget everything being told to him or get into a counterargument.
5. Don’t Get Stuck In The Argument
It’s hard to accept one’s mistake, and your partner will probably show no maturity and deny all the accusations. If you talk to him about the wet towel on the bed, he will probably ask when he did that and then bring up a conversation where you left the curling rod on the bed. So it’s better to just inform and move on rather than make a courtroom out of your house.
6. Don’t Drag It
Even if it’s a valid accusation, don’t push it on him every time. Any conversation dragged to a point will lose its meaning and just sound like nagging.
7. Make A Positive Impact
The main motive is to address the issue and solve it. If you want to make a positive impact, you have to stay very calm and deal with it with utmost maturity. The more you corner him, the lesser the chances he will listen to a word you are saying.
8. Be A Good Listener
Sometimes the tables might turn, and he might want to discuss an issue with you. You have to be patient and listen to it fully without being empowered by the ego. You need to address your mistakes as well for having a successful relationship.
9. Don’t Get Competitive
A relationship is not a game of giving and taking, and you don’t have to always emerge as a winner. Your communications are not a debate in a courtroom, and you don’t have to push it till you win it.
10. Don’t Indulge In Blame Game
It’s easy to blame your partner and slide the guilt off your sleeve; however, it does no good to your relationship. Being a couple is being there for each other. So even if there is a mistake, you need to address it and find solutions for it together.
11. Be Forgiving
No matter what the issue is, it can always be forgiven. If you feel the relationship is worth saving, forgiveness is the strong and healing bandage that will bind you again in love. It might take time and you must talk about it, and then once it’s sorted, forgive him and move on with your relationship.
So, now that you know the secrets to effective communication, nothing can hold you back from having a loving and happy relationship. The idea is to be patient and understanding, and not point a finger till you have to! So, do you have any effective communication secrets in a relationship? Let us know in the comments section!