“Do Whatever You Want After Marriage”: 7 Reasons Why We Need To Stop Saying This Line
Niharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... read full bio
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Have you ever been told, “Oh, you want to go on a trip with friends? Do all of this after you are married!” If this line is something you can relate to, we understand precisely where you are coming from. Often, Indian parents raise their daughters to believe that they are not a “true” part of the family since they will be leaving to live with their in-laws or husband after marriage. They tell their daughters that they can do whatever they want to and go wherever they like after hitting that marriage milestone mark. But is this really fair? What if she has even more regressive in-laws who say things like, “If you wanted to do all this, you should have just remained with your parents”. Why are women conditioned to believe that they need to get married to experience an authentic taste of freedom? Well, we as a generation can put an end to this. Here are seven reasons why we should stop using this line on our daughters:
1. Freedom Is Our Birthright
Freedom is something that every single one of us is entitled to. It exists even if we choose not to get married. Why should a woman wait until she is married to pursue all her life goals and dreams of traveling? Despite India being independent from the British for nearly 74 years, Indian women still have to beg for essential freedom. Whether they choose to live by themselves or stay out past 9 pm, women have to beg and plead for the most basic rights. They are made to believe that they will only get the freedom that they deserve after they step into their “own house”. And if a woman chooses not to get married, she’ll simply be shunned and judged by the rest of society.
2. We Weren’t Made To Be Wives
Women weren’t born to be molded into the “perfect wife”. So many of them wish to never become wives in the first place! We all come into this world as independent beings with our own life goals and wants. Husbands, or not, women shouldn’t have to stir debates with their parents about asking for what they deserve. Reducing their identities to who they are married to is simply disgraceful.
3. We Are Not A Man’s Property
By telling your daughter that freedom comes only after marriage, you’re basically letting them believe that their entire existence is dependent on what a man wants. Instead, parents need to raise their daughters to be confident about themselves and inspire them to aspire for more extraordinary things. Why tell your daughter to “marry rich” when she can earn money and become rich herself? A grown woman shouldn’t have to ask her father or husband for “permission” to do something she wants or pursue a job that she desires.
4. Our Marital Status Doesn’t Define Us
First of all, desi parents need to stop trying to mold their daughters into what they consider “marriage material”. Women aren’t born to simply become wives. It’s important to accept people for who they are and not try to change them into what you perceive as ideal. Every individual is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. Stop clipping your daughters’ wings and trying to fit them into molds that were never meant for them in the first place!
5. We Can Have Lives Outside Of Our Family
It might be foreign to some, but women can actually have friendships and relationships that don’t involve their families. Women can want to travel or want to try adventure sports without constantly seeking permission from their partners or their fathers. Expecting them to wait till marriage to have fun is not only ridiculous but simply a waste of time. What if she wants to get married late and live life to her fullest potential while she’s young?
6. Life Is Too Short To Save Everything For After Marriage
Who wants to wait till they’re in their 20s or 30s to have fun? What if we don’t want to get married at all? Why would you want her to hold back and restrict herself from living the life she deserves to live? You may have been brought up in a conservative home, but wouldn’t you want your daughters to be brought up in a more progressive environment?
7. Marriage And Freedom Are Two Completely Different Elements
Marriage and freedom can not and should not go hand in hand. The truth is that these are two entirely separate entities and should not be merged. We’ve come a long way from the days when women had to get married to exercise their free will. In today’s world, women are just as important a part of the workforce as men are. As days go by, we keep moving closer to bridging the gender gap. Rather than asking women to settle down, we need to ask them to live their lives and be completely independent.
No matter what happens, you must acknowledge that women are equal to men. You may have been brought up in an era where you were taught the opposite, but this isn’t the case for everyone. Do let us know all of your thoughts in the comment section down below!
