What Commitment Means In A Marriage
chaitra krishnanMA (Journalism & Mass Communication) Experience: 5 yearsChaitra has a triple main bachelor’s degree in journalism, communicative English, and economics from St. Aloysius College, Mangalore, and a master’s degree in journalism and mass communication from St... more
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Have you ever dated anyone who was afraid of commitment? Remember Chandler Bing from Friends who was commitment phobic? Well, commitment to one person is a big deal. It means that you cannot err and neither can you step back. Commitment takes a lot of effort and that’s the only reason why people are so worried about getting into a committed relationship. On that note, there isn’t any other commitment that’s on a higher level than marriage. In fact, it’s proudly telling the whole world, “I’m committed to my partner for life and I’m happy about it.”
That said, there are many people even among the married lot who don’t understand the true meaning of the word “commitment”. When there’s no understanding of the word itself, there’s no way one can truly commit to the other. This lack of commitment can easily lead to fights between couples due to insecurity, jealousy, uncertain future of the relationship, etc.. Do you see this happening in your marriage? Are you and your husband at each other’s throat all the time? Do you feel that your marriage is losing its core essence? Don’t worry, knowing what commitment is will help you and your partner bring back the meaningful relationship you once had. Here’s what you should know about commitment in a marriage.
1. Acceptance
You’re not living at your own place where you could do whatever you want to do without considering a second opinion. Now that you’re sharing your home with another person, it’s important to accept that s/he is a part of your life and that they get a say in things too. There may be times when your partner gets on your nerves and makes you want to throw things at them. But before breaking that beautiful vase, try to think from their point of view. We all are different people and you cannot expect your partner to do everything according to you. Accept them as they are and help them work on the flaws.
2. Loyalty
Loyalty is the key foundation of a healthy relationship. There won’t be any relationship to work on if your loyalty is weak. Remember that you’ve chosen to get married to your partner knowing that you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together. You don’t get to choose again and if you do, you’re outrightly destroying the foundation. Infidelity is tolerated by some partners but it kills the relationship from the inside.
3.Trust
Trust and loyalty go hand in hand. If your partner is not loyal, you’re bound to lose the trust you have in them. However, some partners have trust issues without any valid reason. It might be because someone had broken their trust pretty bad in the past or it could be something else. If you have no reason to doubt your partner, then don’t. Do not jump to conclusions without talking to them just because you are suspicious or because someone else has filled your ears about t your partner.
4. Sacrifice
Letting them have the last slice of the pizza or letting him watch cricket when your favorite movie is on are the cute little sacrifices that are okay to make. You have to adjust if you want to live together. But, talk to your partner if you’re the only one sacrificing things because that’s just not fair. You may have to make bigger sacrifices like taking time off from work to take care of the children so that your partner can go attend their important meeting. As long as it’s a two-way street, you’re in a good place.
5. The Little Things
Taking care of your partner’s wishes and concerns is a big part of a committed relationship. When was the last time you gave your wife a red rose? When was the last time you cooked your husband’s favorite meal? Couples often forget the little things once they’re married. These little things are the most important reasons why you fell for each other in the first place. To maintain the commitment and the element of spark in your marriage, you should never forget the little things.
6. Patience And Forgiveness
You can’t just break up with your wife or husband after having a fight. Those days are long gone and you’re in a matured relationship now. You may have to forgive your partner multiple times in a single day and it can be pretty exhausting sometimes. But, if you love your partner and you want your marriage to stay healthy, you’ve got to be patient and forgiving. It might take ten times for him to get the recipe right, but he’s doing it for you- appreciate him for that. Try to think about the good things about your partner before you criticize them every now and then.
7. Time And Communication
Everybody is busy and it becomes very difficult to make time for personal life once you’re out there making ends meet But, that’s what commitment is about— come what may, make your partner your priority. Make time for them and make sure you know what’s happening in each other’s lives. If there’s no time, you’ve got to make time so that you both don’t drift apart emotionally. Plan picnics, date nights, movies, or just some quality time at home. This is the time when you get to communicate your love and concerns to your partner, don’t miss out on that. Communication is essential for a happy marriage.
If you’re having trouble understanding any of these concepts you can always talk to an older couple who have had a successful marriage. Experience is the best teacher and their pearls of wisdom are precious. What does “commitment” mean to you? How do you make sure you keep it alive in your marriage? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.
