6 Truths Every Couple Should Know To Make Their Love Last Longer

Written by Chandrama Deshmukh  • 

Love is not a scientific thing, right? I mean, yes, there are scientific explanations for why people behave a certain way when their object of love is around (read: dopamine and oxytocin being released into the bloodstream), but it does sound kind of silly to actually have everything romantic explained in a proper, research-based, scientific manner, right?

Actually, that is not right! Of late, a lot of research has surfaced, which digs deep into the whole “love phenomenon” and there are actually some truths out there that can help you in keeping the romance and love alive (1). Sounds fascinating, doesn’t it? Read on to find out more.

1. Truth No. 1: Jealousy Is Actually A Genetic Problem!

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Sounds farfetched, doesn’t it? But the truth is that being jealous is actually something that is determined by your genes. A study was conducted in Sweden, where they discovered that one-third of the ways a person reacts to unfaithfulness by his or her partner is actually determined by their genetics (2). Of course, the remaining is still determined by the circumstances surrounding the event and so on. But interesting, right? Now you can legitimately blame your genes the next time your partner says you’re too jealous!

2. Truth No. 2: There Is Actually A Magic Ratio For Couples That Last

Experts have done studies on the behavior of couples who have had long-lasting relationships and it has been discovered that a lot can be said from the way a couple resolves their fights. In fact, they have also come up with a magic ratio of 5:1 (3).

Sounds mystifying, doesn’t it? But actually, it isn’t so much. Their research has revealed that if the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions in a couple is 5:1, chances are the relationship will last. Negative interactions could be anything from being overly critical to rolling one’s eyes when the other person is speaking or just not being attentive. What they hypothesize is that at the end of it, it all boils down to respect and consideration for your partner. The more you see that in a couple, the more the chances that the couple will stick together.

3. Truth No. 3: You Have To Be Each Other’s Friends

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Unless the two of you consciously make an effort to keep the friendship between you alive, the chances of your “love” being alive reduce drastically. This is because we are all, at some point, looking for closeness and a safe space to share all that is happening in our lives. And also, because without friendship and emotional connect, no human is complete. Emotional connect is the all-important thing, to be honest. Because ultimately, even physical closeness and good lovemaking don’t get close to emotional closeness when it comes to the most important thing in a relationship.

4. Truth No. 4: There Is Actually A Prescribed Number Of Hours That You Must Spend With Your Partner Every Week!

No, we are not kidding. A marriage researcher by the name of John Gottman has actually done some serious diving into this matter and he has some really interesting results. He says that spending as much as 6 hours with your partner is mandatory for your relationship to flourish (4).

Sounds kind of impossible, right? But when we break it down, it doesn’t sound impossible at all. Let’s begin with the goodbyes. Every morning, when you both (or one of you) are leaving for work, make it a point to say goodbye. When calculated, this time of saying goodbyes contributes to about 10 minutes in a week. Also, other stuff that we take for granted like saying hello to each other after getting back from work, spending some time talking to each other in order to de-stress, showing affection physically through touch or hugs or cuddles – all these contribute to about an hour and a half every week.

Apart from this, he suggests that couples can opt for maintaining a journal where they jot down what it is that they admire the most about their partners and also make it a point to go on date nights as well as keep some time aside to discuss issues that the couple is already facing. All of these together contribute to about 6 hours of together time, which is what the research prescribes!

5. Truth No. 5: You Will Put On Weight

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This is mainly because you are now secure in your partner’s presence and therefore do not feel the need to make up for insecurities by trying to look good or better than you already are (5)!

6. Truth No. 6: You Will Be Responsible For Getting The Best Out Of Your Partner

Michelangelo had very famously stated that when he sculpts, he is just taking away the bits of the sculpture that do not belong. And that the piece of stone that he is sculpting already has the structure that he is simply releasing. A similar theory (known as the Michelangelo effect) states that such is the case with couples as well – the partners are responsible for bringing out the best in each other (6).

What do you think keeps a relationship going? Share your ideas with us in the comments below!

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