Relationship Advice: The No. 1 Thing 8 Relationship Experts Have Learned About Love
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Relationships have changed quite a bit from how they used to be earlier (mostly, in a good way). But, have you ever wondered how this modern romance dynamic actually works?
One thing that we have all learned from binge-watching TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, and Friends is that relationships are mostly messy. Oh, how long did we have to wait for Ross and Rachel to realize that they were each other’s lobster!
From our very first brush with love in school to the most recent heartbreak drama, one thing we can all vouch for is that love isn’t easy. Be it dating or marriage – relationships require effort. Things don’t fall into place magically. So, whether it ends with both of you sobbing in opposite corners of the world or it goes on to be that epic eternal love, your words and your actions make a hell lot of difference.
Now that we are all on the same page about relationships and what they really encompass, it’s time to talk about how you can up your game. We, at StyleCraze, bring you the best of wisdom from 8 relationship experts to help you unlock the key to a long-term healthy relationship!
1. Show That You Appreciate
Showing gratitude to your partner for the things he/she does for you goes a long way in the relationship. If your partner feels appreciated and recognized for his/her effort, it motivates them to put in more effort to make the relationship stronger and happier. And, it doesn’t always have to be big; it’s the little things that matter. So, be it a hug, holding his/her hands, giving a handmade card, fixing up their food, randomly complimenting your partner, or just thanking him/her for being there – do it!
–Terri Orbuch, author of “5 Simple Ways To Take Your Marriage From Good To Great”
2. Value Relationships, No Matter How Long They Lasted
The concept of failed romances doesn’t really exist. It’s just that the relationships grow into what they are truly meant to be with time. It is best that you don’t try to turn something that is temporary or seasonal into a lifelong commitment. Just sit back and cherish the relationship for now!
– April Beyer, Relationship and Dating Expert
3. Don’t Ever Take Your Significant Other For Granted
Though it is such a commonly repeated advice, so many couples knock the doors of a relationship therapist for this. But, more often than not, it’s too late and the significant other just wants to end the relationship. Everyone has a threshold. So, if someone doesn’t feel needed or feels like they aren’t being noticed, they might look for it elsewhere. Yes, no relationship is perfect. However, that’s no excuse for being complacent.
– Irina Firstein, Relationship Therapist
4. Take Some Time Out For Yourself
No matter how madly in love you are, it is important to take a breather and do something for yourself. So, go out with your friends till late in the night, go on a solo trip, or meet your family. This ‘me-time’ will refresh both of you and you will feel closer than ever!
– Amy Baglan, Dating App MeetMindful’s CEO
5. How You Fight Matters
How you fight and communicate with each other matters and can even determine whether you, as a couple, will be able to survive it. So, try not to resort to negative tactics to fight with each other. Play it fair! Try to find a common ground where your opinion overlaps with your partner’s. And then, build on that shared goal.
– Sean M. Horan, Texas State University’s Assistant Professor of Communication
6. It’s Alright If You Aren’t Each Other’s Everything
It is practically not possible to be anyone’s “everything.” Have relationships other than the one with your partner. Otherwise, the relationship might not survive.
– Matt Lundquist, Therapist for Couples
7. Common Value System Is Essential
The relationship lasts longer when you share more similarities with each other – be it a hobby, personality trait or values. You must be sure that you have similar values before getting into a long-term commitment. While other differences might be tolerated, something as basic as a value system can’t be easily compromised on.
– Kelly Campbell, California State University’s Associate Professor of Psychology
8. Be Nicer
How an entire conversation goes really depends on how it’s started. And, these conversations also determine the future of the entire relationship. More often than not, a conversation starts with one blaming or criticizing the other. So, try to be gentler in your approach. Rather than saying “You never keep your shoes at its designated place,” instead say, “I don’t like it when the shoes are lying over the place. Can you try and keep it in the shoe rack?” It makes all the difference.
– Carrie Cole, certified trainer and therapist at The Gottman Institute
It is not just important to get into a relationship, but it is also important to maintain it. And any relationship requires effort. So, don’t shy away from it and give it your 100%. After all, they are the ones who are going to stay with you till the very end!
