When You Are Torn Between Your Boyfriend And Best Guy Friend

Have you ever had to choose between your guy best friend and your boyfriend? We are not talking about choosing between a dinner date with your boyfriend or a game night with your best friend. We are talking about choosing one over the other. We all have best friends and they are the ones who’ve got our back at all times.

But, what happens when your love interest and your guy best friend don’t get along? Well, the reasons could be many. It could be that your boyfriend doesn’t trust your guy best friend, or it could be that your boyfriend wants undivided attention and wants to be the only man in your life to win that spot. Or it could be insecurity laced with the fear of losing you. Whatever the case is, it’s a little heartbreaking when you have to choose between a friend who you’ve had the best memories with and the love of your life who makes you feel special. Isn’t it? Here’s what happens when you find yourself sandwiched:

1. You Start Withdrawing From Your Best Friend

When do you actually start realizing that you have to choose between two important people in your life? It’s usually when 24 hours in a day aren’t enough and you have to ensure that you devote enough time to the priorities in your life. In my case, I realized that I had been spending way too much time with my boyfriend while I was just ‘seen-zoning’ my best friend. And when I finally decided to get back on track and give my best friend the time he deserves I realized that I had withdrawn myself from him way too much. Just to make sure that you don’t hurt the one you’re dating, you tend to rank everything else second on the priority list. And this means war. Your best friend starts complaining and you feel like nobody is understanding you.

2. You Miss Those Bestie Moments

Remember that night out when you and your bestie sang your hearts out and got the entire club dancing to your cacophonous song? Or do you remember the time when you just sat with your bestie and checked out guys and girls for each other on Tinder? Oh, there are some moments that you can only share with your bestie and you start to miss them dearly! But, one might ask that aren’t we supposed to have all our fun moments with our boyfriend? Well, there’s no such rule. Your boyfriend needn’t replace your bestie. So, instead of missing those moments, why not try and make time for such moments now? If your boyfriend isn’t really comfortable with that, take him along.

3. You Start Justifying Your Relationship

When my bestie planned a road trip last summer, I was just so confused because this road trip was something my bestie and I had planned for ages. Now, with my boyfriend in the picture, I didn’t know if it was right to leave my boyfriend behind and go on that trip. So, I started explaining to my boyfriend why my ‘me-time’ with my bestie is important. The fact that my bestie is a guy shouldn’t have any effect on the nature of our friendship. I explained to my boyfriend that it’s just like the friendships I have with my girlfriends. In an ideal world, your boyfriend will give you a thumbs up. But, otherwise, this explaining phase goes on forever. And it’s okay, but don’t let this dent either of your relationships.

4. You Might End Up Choosing One Over The Other

After days, weeks, and months of trying to balance love and friendship that is governed by two important men in your life, you tend to succumb to the pressure. You finally come to a point where you have had fights with your bestie and boyfriend and alike and you just want to ditch one for the other. Dear friend, take it from an experienced soul, never compromise your friendships for the sake of love, and vice versa. If you plan to just bid farewell to one because you can’t handle the constant boxing match in your head, abort the mission, lady! You can always find a way around it. Maybe, with time they will both be comfortable with each other.

5. You Can Always Have The Best Of Both Worlds

To the girls who choose their boyfriend over their guy best friend, good for you. And to the girls who rank their friendships over their love life, good for you too! But, if you ask me, I will never decide between my friend and my boyfriend. I would rather be torn between the two till the two of them make peace which each other’s presence in my life. Because, you cant always cuddle up and have a bomb between the sheets, right? You also need a friend who can understand you and be there for you, just platonically. So, why choose and lose, when you can have the best of both the worlds?

For those of you who are sailing on two boats and don’t know which one to let go, my suggestion is don’t let go. Yes, it’s difficult. But, it’s worth it. Push yourself and push for what you want in life. You can always prioritize and make things easier for yourself and your important men. Are you in a similar situation? Let us know how you are dealing with it in the comments below.

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Author

Anjala Farahath