Why My *Bai* Is More Important To Me Than My Husband – And I Am Not Even Kidding!
For starters, I am one of those entirely dependent on my domestic help. My worst nightmare is not my husband not returning home at night but my maid not turning up in the morning. I grab my morning cuppa only after spotting Renuka (my domestic help) at my gate. In she comes when the clock strikes 6. If I can’t find her there, I get so anxious that I have to see the clothesline to see if her chunni (dupatta) is hanging on it. That’s the first thing she does BTW! That’s like spotting the green flag for a train to start its engine. While I get my sugar rush from my steaming cup of lemon mint tea, nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like Renuka’s entry into my house. It’s like she’s an instant energizer. That be my story, I am sure lakhs of other women (at least in India) would relate to this. We don’t mind pampering our maids as long as they are regular to work. And, after a point, you feel it’s you who’s working for them and not vice-versa. Like they set the expectations right at the beginning. Don’t believe me? Check out the conditions that my maid laid out before agreeing to work for me.
- A cup of white tea with sugar-free added
- Hot breakfast (whatever I prepare for my family. Oh yeah, she loves pav bhaji and pizza!)
- Three paid leaves every month (This is in addition to the other long leaves she takes for weddings, funerals, festivals, guests at home, sickness, etc.)
- New clothes for every festival (Merciful enough to exclude our National festivals)
- Will not accept leftover food
- Non-returnable financial assistance or jewelry when her sister/sister-in-law gets married
…and the list goes on.
Now, when I narrated this verbatim to my mom, she remarked after lending a patient ear: “Fair enough. Don’t you guys take off from work two days a week?”
Me: Yes.
Mom: Then, what’s the issue? She’s only asking 3 in a month. And you can afford her. It’s a noble deed to feed the poor. What you feed her is equal to the food you waste every time you eat at a restaurant paying thousands of rupees.
I get it. But, when I tried to argue that work has to be unconditional, she summed it up in one sentence – “This is the price you are paying for your laziness. You should either move your a** and get down to work, or be willing to shell out money. You can’t eat the cake and have it too.”
Now, after such an enlightening lecture from the woman who brought me into this world, what sympathy can I expect from an outsider? So, I just gave into my maid’s demands and to this day, have put up with all her antics. I don’t have a choice, remember? This is the state of most working women in India.
While browsing the internet, I stumbled upon this video that beautifully shows the practical issues one faces while hiring a maid and how we just come to accept their terms because of our helplessness. It’s an amusing take on hiring domestic maids and the kind of tantrums they throw. Enjoy this video and tell us what you think of it.
Funny, wasn’t it? Jokes apart, domestic helps are for our convenience. At the end of the day, they are human beings and should be treated thus. If not special treatment, they have to be given basic facilities. We just can’t dispute the fact that they start their day after fulfilling their familial responsibilities. And a few of them work through the day. So, the least we could do is empathize with them and be nice to them. Isn’t your life better because of them?
Domestic helps even double up as substitute parents and are, in fact, indispensable to most busy women who have no time to look after the house and kids. They ensure a smooth running of households in most countries. Just see the kind of work they do – from cleaning, cooking, and washing to picking up kids from school, playing with them in your absence, and tending to the needs of the senior citizens at your house, they do it all. Live-in maids come to stay with you and take care of your needs at the cost of ignoring their own. And it’s not just them; even they have to put up with our mood swings. So, it’s a give and take. The middle ground here is mutual respect. What’s your take on this?
Do you have an experience with your maid to share? Do leave your comments in the box below.
