“I Do Not Want To Get Married”: Why Do Women Have To Fight To Stay Single
Niharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... read full bio
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Marriage— the word either sparks heart palpitations or desire when you hear it. But in the end, is it all there is to a person’s life? Women are often pressured by our patriarchal society to start “preparing” for marriage from an early age. Rather than asking women to focus on developing their personalities or planning out their future careers, parents would much rather pressure them to conform to society’s needs and expectations. Thousands if not millions of Indian women are faced with this dilemma. So let’s take a deeper dive into it and understand why women should be allowed to have a say in their marital plans:
Me Before You
As women, we need to start becoming more selfish. You may think we sound crazy when we say this, but hear us out. We’ve often been conditioned to take on the world and to be emotional punching bags for not just the men in our lives but our entire families. Many of us have had to hear terrible threats from our parents and been pushed towards marriage even when we had no interest in it. When parents state proudly about how India has a low divorce rate, they don’t take into account the fact that the only reason the divorce rate is low is because many women are financially dependent on their partners and would suffer greatly if they were to pursue a legal case.
The wonderful thing about the newer generation is that they are realizing that they have options. That they don’t have to settle for less or get married to someone against their will just because their parents want them to. As more and more women get educated and join the workforce, they slowly start to realize their worth and understand that it is okay to wait to find the right person.
Our generation is growing wiser towards such matters and is trying hard to stand up for ourselves and not get stuck in the same old routine over and over again.
So many women from our parents’ generation were asked to stay in marriages because “what will society say?”. But we’re here to tell you that you should care less about what society thinks. The only important thing is that you’re happy with the choice you have made. Just because you’re afraid of what society might think of you, it doesn’t mean that you should put yourself through the pain of a terrible marriage.
Not Being Open To Marriage Does Not Mean You Are Bitter
Look, it is as simple as this. Marriage is not meant for everyone. It isn’t a fairytale ending so many people assume it is. Maybe you’re someone who would much rather have a live-in relationship or an extra long engagement rather than tie the knot? Or maybe you are someone who would just rather live your own life and be single. Who says marriage is the only option and should be a woman’s only choice? There is so much a woman can do with her life. She can travel, find a hobby (or many), learn new languages and skills, study further and so much more.
Yes, fights are normal and every single person who has been in a long term relationship (whether it’s a friendship or a monogamous relationship) has gone through fights. But the major difference between those and a marriage is that you can walk away from a relationship or a friendship with no legal processes involved. With a marriage, you need to speak to a lawyer, go to court, etc if you want to call it quits.
Many people will say “But what if you want to have kids?”. Well, there’s this magical thing called adoption, or artificial insemination, or surrogacy (if you’re a man who wants a child). We live in a world of endless possibilities. We don’t have to have a kid according to society’s timeline because society is not going to live our lives for us. We need to live our lives for ourselves and do things that we love.
In the end, whether you are a man or a woman, you deserve to be with someone who loves you unconditionally and treats you with the love and respect that you deserve. You deserve to put yourself first and ahead of others when necessary because at the end of the day, all you have to do is look inside a mirror and you’ll only have yourself looking back at you. As they say, you’re born alone and you die alone. Life is everything that comes in between these two parts. Do let us know your thoughts on this article in the comment section below. What are your aspirations in life?
