Woman Apologises After Public Shaming Over Viral Rape Remarks
Don’t you think that if all of us just paused a little to measure out our words before inflicting them on the world at large, the world would be a better place? Words have the power to rouse emotions, and mold ideas and move people to action. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that this power possessed by words is very disruptive in nature.
An illustration of this fact was given by this woman, who decided to unleash this disruptive power by using words to give shape to her vitriolic, and frankly, shameful ideology by haranguing young girls in the name of moral policing. For those of you who aren’t aware of it, this was an incident that happened in a mall in Gurugram a few days back. A group of young girls had gone to eat out in an eatery called Nukkadwala, where the woman in question was also present. When she spotted this group, she beckoned one of them to have a discussion.
Moral Policing Or Harassment?
The girl whom she had called aside to have a discussion was wearing a short dress, that “exposed” her legs and the sight of that mortal flesh was enough to rouse the ire of this middle-aged lady. She took it upon herself to school the girl in a lesson in tradition and morality. She asked the girl why she was wearing that dress, and whether or not was she ashamed to show her legs to men. The girl, along with her friends, tried to handle the situation with a pinch of salt and explained that she was comfortable in her skin, and thus the attire was very much to her liking.
As per a video submitted by the girls to a news portal, that’s when it proved to be too much for the woman, and she started haranguing the girls by saying that it was because of women like them that other women get raped (1). This boiled down to an argument between the girls and the woman, who then went on to tell a few guys, who too were seated in the restaurant, to rape the girls. Being too uncomfortable, and seeing no end in sight to this uncomfortable situation, the girls thought it better to leave the premises.
Feels unsettling and surreal, right? But wait, there’s more to come.
Later on, they decided to seek out the woman, who had gone on to a home store, to seek an apology. But despite the girls’ repeated insistence on an apology, the woman stood by her words. A passer-by who herself happened to be a mother, supported the girls and exhorted the woman to apologize, but to no avail. Instead, upon realizing that the entire thing was being recorded by the girls, she repeated her entire thought process, reiterating that women who wear short clothes should get raped, and the parents of such girls should control them.
The Aftermath
Following this event, the girls decided to harness the power of the social media by sharing the video, to show that while we might be lighting candles in solidarity with Nirbahaya, or protesting the Kathua rape, rape culture is still alive and kicking. The post got around 1600 shares and about 1200 views within a few hours of its initial upload. As the video went viral, it prompted a lot of discussions on the lines of whether the woman was right in voicing her opinion, or whether it was the girls who were at fault for arguing with an elder. But one thing that was confirmed was that no one supported the woman’s atrocious rape remark.
pic.twitter.com/dsLJsUvhbb this is so sad and shocking
How can anyone pass such kind of comments on people you don’t know
A middle aged woman telling a young girl that wearing short dresses is a way of her inviting men to rape her— harshu🌙 (@istanSgomez) April 30, 2019
The Apology: Too Little Too Late?
It seems that better sense has finally prevailed for the woman has finally tendered an apology on her social media profile stating that she could’ve handled the situation better. In that post, she acknowledges that she was “harsh” and “incorrect” and that it would have been better if she had offered her opinion privately. She also said that as a “woman”, “wife, sister and a mother” she values “every woman’s dignity.
While it’s certainly better to be late than never, what is deeply disturbing is it took so much time for her to realize the import of the words that she had said in such a cavalier manner. But feminism, as a movement, is all about second chances, and sisterhood. And though we cannot condone her dissemination of the rape culture, in the name of “concern” and moral policing, we can certainly be forgiving enough to make this moment a part of the learning curve.
In our fight for gender parity and evenly structured society, it’s moments like these which will come in handy.
