An Open Letter To Deepika Padukone: Women Sacrificing Their Dream For Husband Is Regressive And Doesn’t Need A Glorifying “Ode”
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When it comes to dreams and ambitions, every woman knows the story of how her mother/aunts or even grandmothers had to sacrifice their dreams and take care of the family. Even if you did have a working mother, there would have been times she had to give up attending a work meeting to take care of you when you were sick. Or maybe your aunt wanted to pursue a career in engineering and was discouraged by her parents. Either way, sacrifice is something most women have had to go through. So when Deepika Padukone shared a picture on Twitter with a caption that essentially glorified the fact that many women have given up their dreams for their partners, it rubbed people the wrong way. Here’s why the post gives a problematic glimpse of Indian society:
A Dedication To Her Husband… Gone Wrong?
The actress took to popular social networking site, to share a still from her hubby’s upcoming film 83 in which she will be playing a small but significant role. In the movie that narrates India’s maiden Cricket World Cup Victory, Ranveer Singh plays Captain Kapil Dev and Deepika will be seen as Kapil’s wife Romi Bhatia. In the tweet Deepika said, “To play a small part in a film that captures one of the most iconic moments in sporting history has been an absolute honour! 83 for me is an ode to every woman who puts her husband’s dream before her own… #ThisIs83”
While we’re sure the actress didn’t mean it in a malicious light, the caption did not sit too well with Twitter users. Many said that the actress is glorifying the fact that women have to put their partner’s dreams before their own. The problem with this being that it sets the tone for people and many end up thinking that it’s the ‘right thing’ to do and sometimes even aspire towards (which is completely wrong in the first place). While we mean no disrespect towards women who have put their husband’s dreams before their own out of love, we shouldn’t be propagating the idea that it is a given thing to do. Rather than talking about the role she is essaying, Deepika seemed to make the entire story about her character’s sacrifice for her husband.
Why Deepika’s Post Matters
Let’s face it. Most people look up to Bollywood when it comes to matters like this. They say only one thing in India has the same level of impact, if not more, than cricket. And that is Bollywood. Considering the controversies stirred up by directors like Sandeep Reddy Vanga, the man behind Arjun Reddy and Kabir Singh, it’s no wonder that people are keeping a close watch on what celebrities are doing. As a celebrity, it is important to know and acknowledge the power and influence you hold in the industry. Megastars like Deepika Padukone are watched by millions of people across not just India, but the globe, so they must be particularly wary of what they say in public to avoid scrutiny.
Popular Tropes In Bollywood Movies
While the idea that a woman has to give up her dreams for her husband has been a popular trope in Bollywood, it is upsetting to see a megastar like Deepika Padukone taking that stance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting aside your dreams for the person you love. If you believe that this is the right decision going forward or you and your partner have decided on the matter ahead of time, that’s perfectly alright. But nobody should ever feel compelled to do so just for the sake of their marriage. The common notion is that women have to put their families before their careers and personal life and while that is the unfortunate reality most women undergo, it is up to us to change things for the better. If we go around propagating ideas that are relatively unjust towards the other gender, then it isn’t really progressing towards a positive change in society. People shouldn’t confuse the word, duty with sacrifice.
In fact, a lot of male achievers we admire in today’s society have had the support of a strong woman in their lives, be it their wives, sisters, mothers or aunts. And while many of these men are probably grateful and indebted to these women, in an ideal scenario, no person should have to give up their own dreams to further the dreams of another. As much as we love and appreciate Deepika Padukone for her charitable endeavors and making a larger impact in society, we can’t help but think her tweet was poorly worded. What are your thoughts on Deepika’s tweet? Let us know your reactions in the comments below.
