Please Don’t Tell Me That You Aren’t Looking For Anything Serious

Written by Shivani K • 
 

I don’t intend to get into a battle with the men out there. But I always wanted to write one wordy article for them, not to engage in some male bashing, but to just make them understand a teeny-weeny bit about women and their priorities in today’s world. And yes, a little about how women think of relationships too (these days).

So, what’s the thing that blows off a woman these days when it comes to relationships? Think, think! (Take a minute or more) If you think that not giving enough attention to the woman or ignoring her are some major blow offs, you are wrong! Maybe those were the 80’s thing. Now, if a man mistreats the woman, she will pick up her crown and slam the door on the man’s face. She will feel sorry for the man for losing out on a woman like her. Yep, women don’t sit back and sulk anymore. They just want a simple and not-so-complicated life.

So, What Is The Major Blow Off Then?

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I’m darn sure that all of you are familiar with this line, “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Did you suddenly feel a gush of anger and frustration flow from your head to toe? I totally feel you! This can be considered as the most infuriating blow off ever.

It’s a different thing if you’ve both mutually started a relationship on the note that it’s a casual fling, or that it has no future. But, if you’ve spent months and years with each other and if things have evolved and progressed into something more than you had imagined, it’s something that could get on the woman’s nerves. As a woman, if you find yourself in a situation like this, go ahead and ask, “What do you mean when you say the word serious here?”

But, Are Women Looking For Something Serious?

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Okay, I get it, gentlemen, you all must be a little scared of commitment. You’re scared that if you give us an important, concrete spot in your lives, you might lose control of your own life and put the opposite gender which you’ve always been considering as a not-up-to-your-gender mark on a pedestal (rolls eyes). Not every woman is looking for a “serious relationship”. And that said, every woman has her own way of handling relationships — some are in for the long haul while others just in for the fun. Maybe, your buddy’s lady is waiting for him to get on his knees and propose marriage to her. But that’s his woman. Not every woman out there is looking for a lifelong commitment. Maybe all they want is someone to have a good time with over the weekend or just to relax with. We’ve all transgressed the ages of “we can’t eat, sleep, or live without you” and we’ve made our lives all about ourselves.

You need to understand that not all women out there are looking for the same type of seriousness. Maybe, their understanding of a serious relationship is different; it can be as simple as a weekend date only and nothing more. “Serious” doesn’t necessarily mean marriage. It could just mean exclusivity. Not all women are like the protagonists of romantic flicks where all they want is a settled life with their romantic partner.

Probably, We Are Serious About Our Lives

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While there’s nothing wrong about women who want to get hitched ASAP and start a family to “settle down” in life, there are others who don’t hear the wedding bells ring in their ears yet. Yes, maybe 5 or 10 years down the lane when we’re sure about you and we know that we want to take our relationship to the next level, we may expect you the kind of commitment from you which you so-ever-lovingly show on your video games or that pair of riding boots. But for the starters, we just need a fun time with you (whenever both of us have the time).

That’s all!

You Aren’t Looking For Anything Serious? Good For You!

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I’m saying this because we women have way too many things in life to be serious about — ticking things off our bucket list, getting those favorite pairs of heels from our dream designer label, taking our parents on their dream vacay, trek the frozen Himalayan Lake, and much more. And honestly, every time you are saying you aren’t looking for anything serious to a woman, she, on the other hand, might be thinking the same, maybe she too, doesn’t want to have anything serious with you. She isn’t the one trying to change you as a person or trying to fix you on a radar that covers her idea of a perfect relationship. Maybe, she is the one letting you be yourself and do your own thing. But if you are pushing her away because of your own insecurities, maybe you’re not matured enough to handle it, or just skeptical to get into something worthwhile in the long run. If you’re going to tell a woman that you’re not looking for anything serious, ensure that you don’t do anything to her feel like she is a huge part of her life. Don’t stand at the door and block the doorway, either walk in or walk out.

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