OMG! You Don’t Look Married: 6 Comments Indian Women Are Tired Of Hearing
niharika nayakBA (Media & Communication) Experience: 4 yearsNiharika has a passion for all things art, music, and travel and has over 4 years of experience in writing for social media. During her spare time, she likes experimenting in the kitchen, playing vide... more
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Living under constant scrutiny and judgment can take a toll on most people. Indian women, however, are born with this unique thick skin that helps them deal with unnecessary comments and opinions. Growing up, we’ve all faced those “Take care of your hair”, “Don’t go out in the sun or you’ll get tanned”, and “Sit like a lady” comments.
Most of us think this will stop as we grow older but sadly, that isn’t the case. We live in a society where people think it’s okay to pass their opinions even if they aren’t that close to us. We, at Stylecraze, figured it would be a fun experiment to find out what the top most unnecessary comments people pass on women are. Here is our list:
1. “OMG, you don’t look married”
“I come from the state of Goa, and both my husband and I aren’t very religious. I don’t practice customs like applying a sindoor or wearing chunky bangles, as it would interfere while I typed at work. When my husband and I moved to Delhi for the first time, we found it hard to get an apartment because most people didn’t believe that we were married! They would automatically assume we were a live-in couple trying to disguise ourselves as married. Eventually, we found one nice neighborhood to settle in, but even then the landlady used to always opine ‘You don’t look like a married lady’ until I finally told her to stop.”
2. “Must be a woman driving”
“My mom-in-law has this annoying habit of assuming all women are bad drivers. Just because she was bad behind the wheel, it’s gotten to a point where I have to argue with her to drive because she doesn’t trust my skills. If she sees someone driving badly, she always feels the need to snarkily comment on how the driver is probably a woman. It annoys me more than anything.”
3. “Why don’t you want children? Is something wrong with you?”
“Neither my husband nor I are huge fans of parenthood as of now. So, we mutually decided not to have any. We might decide to adopt a child when we feel ready to handle the responsibility. Our family and even friends didn’t have the positive reaction we expected them to have. A lot of his family members pointed fingers at me and accused me of convincing him not to have kids. Even my friends came up to me and asked me if either of us suffered from infertility problems. I hate how everyone around me thinks my ability to reproduce is their problem. My husband and I have stopped telling people about our plans.”
4. “Stop wearing revealing clothes.”
“If I could have a dollar for the number of times I’ve heard this from an older person, I’d be filthy rich. I live in a joint family, and this means everyone from my aunts, my cousins, my uncles and my parents live under one massive roof. It’s actually pretty nice most of the time as I always had my cousins’ company growing up. However, I’ve noticed how much more concerned the family is about the way us girls dress. My cousin brothers, however, get away with murder. Every time I wear a skirt or decide to wear something sleeveless, my aunts will often pass comments about how girls who dress like me are just ‘asking for trouble’. Their outdated mentality infuriates me to no extent.”
5. “What do you mean you can’t cook?”
“I’ve always been a bit of a klutz in the kitchen, and it hasn’t improved as I’ve grown older. Matter of fact, I seem to have gotten worse. Due to this I’ve always eaten at messes or ordered food and dabbas. Very often, my coworkers will giggle about how, despite being a woman, I can’t cook. People behave like every woman is born with a cooking instruction manual strapped to her waist. I wonder how many men have been asked this very same question.”
6. “Only women who lack ambition decide to become housewives.”
“I come from a family of career-oriented women, so when I decided to quit my job and stay at home to raise my kid, I was frowned upon. Everyone from my aunts to my mom to my grandmother felt the need to pass subtle comments about how my education was a waste of time. They would ask me why I didn’t aspire for bigger things and why I wanted to take a break so early into my career. It’s quite difficult to ignore some of these disparaging comments, but I know my husband makes enough to sustain us. I also think spending quality time with my daughter will have a positive impact on our relationship.”
Our advice is to take all the unnecessary comments with a grain of salt. Most people pass these comments without malicious intent and thus shouldn’t be taken seriously. However, if a person’s negative comments are affecting you too deeply, it’s a good idea to mention it to them. Family and close friends would most likely understand and validate your feelings. What are some of the most common unnecessary comments you keep hearing? Tell us how you react to negative comments below.
